Hey guys, welcome back to the conspiracy podcast. Rain edition. What’s up, [laughter] guys? It’s better than the hot edition. I know. It actually feels delightful out. it. But you’re going to hear rain off of my tin roof. [laughter] So, just deal with it. It actually sets the mood for this episode. Severe thunderstorm going over us right now. Yeah, that’s right. But this is how much we care. We’re recording in severe thunderstorm. to the the ambiance. Yeah, 100%. I hope you guys are doing well. Uh bummer on America bowing out of the World Cup. God, it was so [bleep] pathetic. Yeah. Dude, I I really thought Mexico was going Hey, that was a good game though.

Like, they fought hard to the very end. And so many shots. Yeah. Within those last like 6 minutes or so. At the end of the end of it, I was like, I’m proud of the Mexicans. Yeah. Not for sure. Not the Americans. [laughter] At the end of that, I was like, [bleep] it, turn this off. Dude, the American like I don’t know anything about soccer, and I was like, they this look slow. It’s wild. It sounds extremely wild in here. Sounds Let me see. Okay, I’m moving. So, as we do, [clears throat] some new uh Patreon shout-outs. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. That was super loud.

Sorry. So, we’ve got Jessica B. I don’t I don’t want to say the last cuz I think it might be your last name. But Jessica B with a yearly founding crew. Thank you, Jessica. We love you and I love the horse picture. That’s beautiful. Horses are delightful. Let me see. It’s It’s just tiny. It’s like their little It’s like their like avatar picture. Then we got Leah M with another yearly founding crew. This is coming This is a running trend here. I like this trend. And I like you guys. We got Josie M. I wish I could I don’t want to say Should I just say their last names?

I don’t I don’t think so. Okay, I just I don’t want to like I don’t Yeah, I don’t want to like get HIPAA violation. I don’t [laughter] I’m afraid I’ll get sued. So, Josie M, we love you. Another yearly founding member. Like I mentioned, we’ve got Carrie A with a founding crew membership. Her and it looks like Carrie’s with a very tall man. So, good for you, girl. [laughter] Then we got Then we got Megan S with a yearly founding crew with luxurious hair. Good job, Megan. Keep that [bleep] luxe. Then we have Josh who was gifted. Oh, and we don’t even know who gifted it.

know who gifted it, but Josh, enjoy, my brother. But they gifted a annual rich person annual rich person. Did he Did he reach out to give us his I have no idea how to Josh, if you’re listening and it’s just Josh and you were gifted randomly, got an email about hit us up. Join the Discord. Let us know what your episode is. Cuz the episode we’re doing today is a rich person request. Also, what’s weird is I don’t know who gifted it to him. You know, sorry. A really good friend. A really good friend. It’s like a ride or die. Pretty much. Yeah, pretty much.

Well, hopefully it’s like happy birthday or [laughter] just like enjoy. And And lastly for our shout outs for today, we have Lochlan S. This is the only is the second human that I know named Lochlan. My my nephew’s name Lochlan. So good for you and if this is I don’t know Australia I think it’s a conspirators membership. Yeah, it’s Australia cuz it’s it’s 12 Australian dollars. That’s what I was like what membership is this? I’ll double check but we might have thanked that one last time. Uh we might have Cuz what? When did we record the 20 That was from the 19th. When he joined.

I don’t remember the last time we recorded. Well thanks anyways Lochlan. Shoutout hell yeah. So as I mentioned we have a rich guy request. That’s right. So if you wanted to support our podcast go to patreon.com/theconspiracypodcast and you can even get there on our website which is www. [laughter] theconspiracypodcast.com. So this is a rich person request and it’s done by our boy Turquoise Man. Turquoise Man. All right. Thanks for the reminder brother. Sorry about the delay. And truth be told he requested this at New Year’s right around New Year’s. early in So we were able to put the research in and do this. He sent me a couple great podcasts to listen to.

Uh if you wanted to expand this story go listen to the podcast that came out 15 years ago. But listen to it after this. Don’t don’t like divert immediately. Uh so this is about the Istal Woman. The Istal Woman. Have you ever heard of this? Dude when he gave us the reminder I was like what the [bleep] is this? I have no idea what this is. It’s pretty much true crime with a splash of conspiracy. It’s a splash. But those those have been kind of cool. We did quite a few. We did we [clears throat] we were talking about this. We did uh obviously Jack the Ripper which is like true crime pretty true crime conspiracy serial killer Then we did Martha Moxley Oh yeah.

True crime. Then um Chappaquiddick, which is a true crime. We did quite a few. Uh Lizzie Borden Lizzie Borden, definitely a true crime. Yeah. So I like these ones. So here we go. November 29th, 1970. Bergen Bergen is in Norway, and it sits cupped between seven mountains, hemmed on every side by granite and cold water. Damn. And in late November, at that latitude, the sun barely even bothers to clear the peaks before it starts sinking again. So there are maybe six, seven hours of actual daylight this time of year. Oh, it’s one of those. Oh, that’s crazy. So it’s basically like 10:00 a.m. Yeah. to 4:00 p.m.

That’s when the sun is out. hours only. Yeah. It’s most of it is gray. It’s the kind of flat, colorless light that makes the landscape look like a photograph itself. It was cold. It was very gray, and on the north face of Mount Ulriken, in a steep, rock-strewn ravine, the locals called Estedalen. And it means ice valley. Mhm. A university professor was out hiking with his two young daughters. And in Estedalen had another name, an older one. And it’s a fairly safe bet the professor knew it. Dørstedalen Dørstedalen And that meant death valley. Ooh. And it’s not a name that got attached casually. Centuries of accidents, centuries of suicides had carved that nickname into the local memory long before anyone alive that day was born.

This was a terrain that people fell. Oh, yeah. to their death for sure Terrain people chose to disappear in. They had steep drops, the kind of ground that doesn’t forgive a wrong step. And locals treated the name the way people everywhere treat a place with a reputation, half superstition and half plain common sense. Yeah, dude. Like imagine like just if I like just trip and fall on granite, that [bleep] hurts. Like it’s like not fun. Especially and and that’s and that’s flat granite, not like a like an actual like jagged rock. It became a place where you watched where you put your feet. The girls ran ahead of their father the way kids do on a hike, putting distance between themselves and the adult pace.

Then one of them stopped. There was a smell in the air that didn’t belong. Kind of sweetish, but like sweetish as in sweet Sweet. Sweet. Sweetish. Yeah, sweetish. Smells like a sweetish [laughter] But a a wrong kind of smell. Yeah. Not the good sweet. Is it like maybe like what’s the name of that fish that they have? Like those [bleep] Norwegian Is that thing is Norway or is one of those [bleep] You know I’m talking about? Yeah. It’s like that canned fish Yeah, it’s like But that smell was just out of place and it was cutting through the cold. She followed the smell off the path, picking her way into a small clearing wedged among the rocks.

And what she found there would stay with her for the rest of her life. The kind of image a person carries quietly for decades, brought back out only when someone asked the right question at the right time. A decomposing body. A woman on her back among the stones, her head pointed downhill as though something or someone had dragged her or as though she herself had been trying too late to crawl towards the valley. Oh, okay. Like crawling downwards. Okay. She was burned Ooh. beyond recognition. So it wasn’t like It wasn’t a suicide attempt. Like Well, Hold that thought. Hold [laughter] that thought. A lot of people believe that it was a suicide.

But why Okay, if you’re going to commit suicide I know I want to hurt myself. What’s like the worst I want to I want to experience the worst possible pain. So she was burned beyond almost beyond recognition. The fire had consumed the front part of her body while the back side of her body was nearly untouched. Weird. Okay. How the [bleep] does that happen? Some say as if she was lying directly on the heart of the flame and it burned there the whole time. Yeah, that’s what Yeah, like you’re like lying on like hot embers or some [bleep] Mhm. Her hands were drawn up close to her chest fists half clenched arms bent at the elbow a posture that to an untrained eye looks exactly like a woman caught mid-struggle fighting for her life against whoever or whatever was killing her.

Okay. Forensic science has a name for it. The pugilistic stance, sometimes called the boxer’s pose. Yeah, like a pugilist is a fighter. Yeah. It’s simply what extreme heat does to a human body after death. Oh, like it it like the it caused the contraction. Yeah, and to like stiffen up, I guess. Um so it’s muscle fibers contracting and shortening as they cook pulling the limbs into the same defensive-looking crouch in almost every body burned this severely. Whether or not it was a murder that’s not what we’re talking about. Yeah, we’re just talking about this is the intro, yeah. Yeah, and and what does burning occur you know, to the body.

Yeah. It carries no information about what actually happened. But standing over her in that clearing with no idea yet what was what they were looking at, two young girls and their father didn’t need forensic explanation. They needed to get the hell off the mountain and find a telephone. Yeah. Jorge, never take your girls hiking. This is this is a step one. Don’t go hiking with your children. [laughter] Back then, in 1970, it’s not like you just flip your phone, call 911. No, no. You got to Especially out there. Yeah, especially in the [laughter] in the mountains of Norway. So, you’re on a mountain and what you have to do is you have to climb back the mount down the mountain and then find the police.

So, eventually they did find their way back down and the Bergen police arrived within about an hour. And what they found scattered around the body only deepened the wrongness of the scene, but also the mystery of the scene. Okay. An empty bottle of St. Halvard liqueur. Mhm. Two plastic water bottles. Okay. A shattered umbrella. Interesting. Okay. It’s ribs bent and splayed. Like um It doesn’t It’s not a working umbrella anymore. Yeah, it broken, yeah, like the ribs of the umbrella were broken. A purse. Okay. Box of matches. Okay. Okay, makes sense. Yeah. A wrist watch and the hands were frozen at 10 minutes past 10.

Interesting. We have a We have a time of death. Mhm. Though investigators would later come to suspect that the watch was never even used because in uh when you’re building or making a watch, that’s generally the time that you set as the beginning. Really? Oh, yeah. Did not know that. At least back in the ’70s. you know. So, she was just wearing a [bleep] broken watch? Well, she wasn’t wearing it. Oh, it was there. It was just in the scene, yeah. Two earrings, a ring, a pair of rubber boots, a wool jumper, a silk scarf. Damn, this hella [bleep] here. What the [bleep] Nylon stockings and one of those old passport holders.

Oh, okay. Remember those? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I I I use I’ve used one. Yeah. But, the passport holder was burned through and empty. Okay. Okay. 9/11. [laughter] It’s coming, baby. [laughter] [bleep] liquid fire can burn a goddamn passport with [laughter] Um [laughter] Beneath the body, investigators found something stranger. A fur hat of a style almost never seen in Norway. But, common in Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Oh, so it’s I know what you’re talking about. It’s like the one with like the Kazmant is is Medicoff or whatever his name is. That’s where it’s like that. Yeah. The you know the easy easy fighters. It’s like the Russian guys.

It’s like [bleep] Yeah. cliche Russian. It’s super cliche. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Naked Gun cliche. Yeah. What’s that guy in Harry Potter? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Yeah. It was in the the worst one, the Goblet of Fire. Like he’s the the main the main Quidditch What is his name? I forget his name. Was seeker. He’s the seeker. Yeah. And he And he stomps. He’s like Boris or some [bleep] Yeah. No. Uh [snorts] okay. So, a fur hat of the style of Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, or the Soviet Republics. In a world Norwegian police had essentially no reason or ordinary reason to look, it was soaked in petrol.

Okay. What? The hat? Yeah. But, the hat wasn’t burned? No. And it was under her. That’s bizarro. Okay. Especially cuz it’s soaked in petrol. What the [bleep] under her is So, when they found her, she’s face up. Yeah, she’s face up. Yeah. Okay. Cuz she was burnt on the front. So, So, she had to have been moved. There’s no way if there’s a like how do you burn the top half of her body and there’s a hat soaking gas? I just don’t see how a hat soaking gas, even if it’s under you and you’re in some raging fire, how that [bleep] doesn’t light up. Yeah.

Then came the detail that turned a tragic, what may have been an accident, into an active, deliberate mystery. And that was every tag, every label, every trace of a manufacturer’s mark on every item on the scene was cut. Uh deliberate. So, your tag on your shirt, the tag on the hat. Mhm. Everything was cut or ripped. Interesting. I don’t know why I got to know I got to know why they would do that. They’re like, “Hell yeah, we’ll leave the body, but remove everything.” She was shopping at American Eagle. [bleep] cut that [bleep] off. And I’m not talking about just like a couple things. It was like everything.

Every item. Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need. There’s a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/specialoffer. That’s so weird. Okay. had a tag or like a you know, a little manufacturer cut. Maybe I I’m trying to think of like, you know, maybe she’s just like one of those people like little OCD actions like I can’t [bleep] have it.

I got to get rid of this tags going to rub me. I don’t like it. I don’t know it doesn’t make nothing else makes sense. she [laughter] like nothing else Right before she set herself on fire. And there’s maybe it could have been like yeah. She’s like I don’t want like I don’t like the tags rubbing on me. But it seems weird to remove everything. From clothes I could see, but not clothing clothing items. I’ve only ever had like one tag that annoys me and I just complain about it and I do I do nothing. [laughter] I just I just allow it. I just keep wearing it.

I don’t care. So here’s what they thought at that moment was that somebody knew what they were doing. Mhm. Somebody thought about it and planned the fire and planned for what might survive. Almost like a fake crime scene. Yeah. And made sure that even survivors gave nothing away. But see it’s like if you were going to do that, why not just like burn the body to like a crisp? Like to like nothing. Like let the fire keep raging. Right. Why even leave anything? Burn the [bleep] scarf and [bleep] Like why aren’t you burning all this [bleep] That’s a good point. I mean unless they’re [bleep] playing games and they’re like Yeah.

Yeah. That’s yeah. let’s see who can figure this out. Yeah. They want to be caught. Yeah. So Bergen, please open case file 13470 that day. It would take them over the following months across borders, false names, hotel registries, one end of Europe to the other and it would still in the end take them nowhere. 56 years later, technically speaking the case is not closed and we have no idea what happened that day. Until tonight. Where we solve this [bleep] [laughter] That’s right. So that’s the basic story of you know before we we dive into the overall, you know, the the in-depth detail. Yeah. But before we do all of that, I wanted to know what your initial what what the [bleep] happened.

Oh, it is this is a straight-up murder. 100%. It’s staged scene murder. I don’t understand this Yeah. We we need more data to know like the motive or even Yeah. Who she was. Yeah. Okay. Definitely not an accident. It’s 100 No, and this is not like a self-inflicted thing. Yeah. It seems No suicide. It seems too Yeah. And and like look, there’s a reason that most like if you people who want to commit suicide like in like that fashion, you would you wouldn’t make it so you can get away. Because instantly like regardless whether you want to end like your life or not, there’s still like a stimulus response that’s going to happen.

And like your body Yeah, your body has a reaction to pain. Yeah. And like you’re going to want to pull away. You’re going to want to like get out. Even if you like I don’t want to live [clears throat] like you’re you’re it’s it’s just like a built-in response to like flee from it. Yeah. I’ve never heard of anybody lighting themselves on fire for a suicide. like it’s like you burn the house down and you’re in the house. That, yes. And like you’re trapped. You can’t [bleep] But she’s not. That’s what I’m saying. That’s my point. What if all of the ways to go? The worst is the worst.

Yeah, there are other ways to go. This is not even guaranteed you’re going to die. [laughter] You just maimed yourself. Come on. It’s the absolute worst except for like the only thing I can think of is worse is like being stranded in like the ocean. Like cuz you’re sitting there and you’re like trying to like [bleep] wade and that seems worse. Just cuz of that fact. So now let’s talk about her autopsy. So at the Gades Institute in Bergen, pathologists began working through what the fire had left them. And the picture that came together over the following weeks was worse and stranger than anyone expected.

She had not died in the blaze. Ah. That much was clear almost immediately. There was no fuel source at the remote clearing capable of producing that level of destruction on its own. Yeah, cuz all they had was like the booze and then like the hat soaked in petrol. Nothing except what had been clearly been carried and deliberately used with intent. And there was one finding that changed the entire shape of the case, and that was soot deep in her lungs. So that means she inhaled it. during the fire. the soot. Yeah. So it doesn’t necessarily mean she didn’t kill herself. No, it just means that she was She didn’t die from the flames.

She was alive during the fire. Yes. Like So it wasn’t like she was burned postmortem. Yes. Cuz there would have been no soot in her lungs. whatever had happened to this woman in her final moments, she was alive when it started. Okay. Yeah? But But that didn’t kill her. What killed her? But and this is the detail that has haunted investigators, authors, and podcasts for 50 years, is she was almost certainly wasn’t conscious. Oh. That’s what I was just thinking right now. So like if she if she’s knocked out, she’s face up, and then somebody just poured something on her and then lit her on fire.

And then she obviously wakes up and like a [bleep] a frenzy because holy [bleep] I’m on fire. Oh, that’s terrible. That’s the worst. The toxicology report finalized on January 2nd, 1971, and the full autopsy report 5 days later, laid it out in stark clinical language. Somewhere between 50 and 70 tablets of Phenemal was in her system. Phenemal or Fentanyl? Phenemal. Oh, that must be some like Norwegian version. sedative. Oh, so that’s why she was unconscious. She was drugged. Yeah. And it it was 50 50 tabs. And it was the most common sleeping pill in Norway at the time. That’s so many. That seems like a that seems almost that How was that not a lethal dose?

Oh, that’s what killed her. Is that what killed her? No. They determined the soot killed her. Oh. Okay. But there’s it’s still in her it’s still in her stomach or in her tract. Yeah, cuz I did I just have a hard time thinking like what like dudes like, “Yeah, let’s use 50 tabs to like knock her out.” Like what? really trying to commit suicide? That’s what I Yeah, you know? No, I’m not. [laughter] BUT THEN WHY BUT THEN WHY WHY WHERE’S THE FIRE coming to play? Yeah, okay. So, uh it was So, that was found in her body and it they determined it was taken in two or three separate batches.

The first dose swallowed several hours before her death. And they were the little tablets. Yes. So, she Oh, so they weren’t crushed up. Mhm. Oh. She took them. Yeah, she took them. Yeah, no one’s like you’re not unwillingly taking I mean, I guess maybe under duress. A dozen more loose pills were scattered near the body itself. Oh, okay. [snorts] It’s confusing because on its own it’s beyond a fatal dose. That’s what I’m saying. 50 tablets sounds crazy. So many I could take 50 Advils right now and I’d probably die. [laughter] So, investigators are struggled and still struggle with the fact that like they’re trying to understand why the fire would be necessary at all.

And also like how how was how was she But how was she even alive at the time of what with that many pills in her system? Like how did Maybe they thought she was dead. I don’t know. Let’s keep going. Jesus. And here’s a detail that didn’t fully surface until the case was picked apart again decades later. And it’s the kind of thing that changes how you hear everything else. The pills weren’t the white phenobarbital tablets sold over the counter in Norway. They were pink. Mhm. Also, they’re like designer phenobarbital. Supposedly, they were a variant that were only sold in England. Ooh. So we’ll just put that in your cap.

Okay. Okay. Help me It’s another little little data point. So here’s what we have. A woman found dead in the Norwegian Valley wearing a Central Asian fur hat, carrying I know identification because it was burned through on the Yeah, on the passport holder. Yeah. And had swallowed English sleeping pills to do it. And like an exorbitant amount. was burnt. Yeah, and then was burnt. Only but only half of her body was burnt while she’s laying on top of a petrol-soaked Russian hat. That’s right. Russian. [snorts] The other wild part about this story, and we’re going to go into it a lot later, is that investigators found that she had six aliases.

And how the [bleep] do they find that? Six? Six identities? Six six, yes. It gets weirder, dude. It kind of branches things off into the crazy path that we’re about to take. Which is that based on fingerprints, the investigators found and handwriting analysis analysis found that the woman had more than half a dozen different aliases. Yes. But can you really take fingerprints from a burnt Yes. hand? You can? You can. Should be able to. No, as long as there’s So obviously it’s like your skin has multiple layers. Okay. And even if it’s burnt like it has to be you can still it’s still possible, yes.

Then the if if if if there’s enough skin left underneath, you can still do it. If it’s like burnt to like the bone, obviously you can’t. Yeah. Or it’s like you can there’s a way you can like probably like purposely singe each individual finger to like ruin it. But Yeah, like the skin obviously it’s like you’re shedding skin your entire life. So but you still have fingerprints. Yeah, but it’s not burned. it’s possible that I know, but I’m saying that the skin still growing. There’s layers and it keeps getting pushed up. too that not every finger was burnt out. Yes. I mean, obviously there was a hat covered in [bleep] gas that [laughter] did not burn.

Yeah, that’s true. Not every single finger. And her hands were her her fists were clenched. Remember that. Uh her finger her fingertips were protected by the inside of her hand while the rest of her body’s getting [bleep] lit up. Right. Okay, and then really quickly, here’s a basic description of her based on witnesses, some sketches, some And also physical you know. Yeah. Cuz she wasn’t burned like to like a skeleton. So, um she was described by police and witnesses as a petite and physically attractive, 5 ft 4 and 1/2 in tall, uh appeared between 25 and 40 years old. Wide gap. That yeah, huge gap.

Had a curvy build with a small round face. Also small ears, brown eyes, and a distinct noticeable gap between her upper front teeth. Like that’s the London look. Yeah, look. Long brownish-black hair that was often worn in a ponytail tied with a blue and white ribbon. It’s hyper-specific. Yeah. Um A lot of witnesses. She had highly distinctive dental work with 14 fillings and several gold crowns, unusually extensive for her age and highly atypical for a native Norwegian. Got you. So, investigators eventually established that this wasn’t even her only visit to Norway that year. She had traveled through the country once already for several weeks in the spring of 1970 before returning again at the end of October and remaining until her death in late November.

So, two separate trips months apart, each one logged under different false names in different cities. And whatever she was doing in Norway, it didn’t seem like it was a single errand. It was some sort of project. it’s why are going under different aliases? That’s right. Yeah. How do you even Sketch. And I I think I read too that uh at Norwegian most hotels in the region you had to provide a passport when checking in. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh first of all, how are you how do you have where do you get the wherewithal to have like this many [bleep] passports? Like that’s crazy. That’s one of the better points of the whole thing is is the wherewithal.

Yeah. Like I dude I to do this especially back then. I mean I think back then it was probably easier than it is now. It’s like I like I guess I have one of the new the new passports where there’s like a plastic placard with the hologram and Dude, I’m like well, I mean Jesus. I can’t I can’t even draw like a square. Like [laughter] how the [bleep] am I going to do this? So, the official cause of death in the end was recorded as a combination of phenobarbital poisoning and carbon monoxide inhalation from the fire. Okay. Yeah, cuz she was passed out, then she started burning.

Yeah. Started inhaling. Yeah. And [bleep] Yeah, [bleep] boy. I mean I yeah. And sitting quietly beneath both of those clinical terms was a detail nobody ever fully explained, which was a big bruise on her neck. Ooh. Mhm. Interesting. Interessante. Put again, put that in your little, you know, put that in your little dossier box. Well, we should also say like her body was found in between like all these rocks. So, like she could have easily also just Or been dragged. Or be dragged. dragged and like you just like run into some [bleep] Yeah. That’s possible. Yeah. So, then her teeth, Shawn brought up her teeth.

14 of them showed extensive expensive dental work. Yes. Root canals, gold crowns, the kind of dentistry that in 1970 didn’t simply simply did not match the mouth of an ordinary Norwegian woman in her 30s. So also the type of dentistry that takes away from the physically attractive aspect. Like Jesus, like [laughter] that’s so much dental work. Like is that a toothbrush in the 70s? What the [bleep] [laughter] You see a a girl and she shows a bunch of bling bling with the gold. No, I’m out. [bleep] I’m [laughter] so out. I’m like not interested. Like I I tell my wife all the time. I’m like you like if you didn’t have good teeth we would not have this beautiful child.

Like this was not this would not be that I’d be interested in. [laughter] Like teeth are a big thing for me. Investigators consulted specialists and got back an answer that widened the mystery instead of narrowing it. This particular style of work pointed to the Far East or Europe or South America as far as like dental work goes. Oh, okay. Yeah, cuz in South America they’ll do whatever you want. You want grounds? Like [laughter] I mean nowadays it seems like it would be harder to be like, oh yeah, you got Oh, cuz that’s good dentistry. Cuz everyone’s Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at that time Yeah, I feel like the Norwegians just like, what is rip it out?

Like [bleep] it. Like what’s the problem? Like just just take the teeth out. Who cares? Wherever this woman had come from and whoever she had been before she started inventing new versions of herself. Someone who had spent real money and gone to real lengths keeping her smile intact. Um she also had one small distinct human detail among all that expensive work and Shawn brought it up, which is a gap in her two front teeth. Yeah. Like the straight hair. witnesses said they saw a woman and noticed her full scale gap in her teeth. It’s it’s it’s pretty distinctive thing. Like whenever someone talks you can see it.

Like Yeah. So detectives made a decision at this stage that at that time was simply careful methodical police work. They extracted her jaw. They preserved tissue samples. They photographed everything, cataloged everything. Uh even after the trail went cold and the case was heading towards closure. Decades later though, that single decision made by investigators who never got to see where it led would turn out to be the thing that kept this case alive to present day. Oh yeah, because like based on like it’s interesting like how like with genetics and like bones and like how things are like for example, you know, most people know that you can tell if someone’s a man or woman just by the bone structure.

Mhm. Like just it’s just a it’s just a thing and like you can also tell like regions where they live based on like specific bone structure which is bizarre but it’s true. Yeah. This is like very gone girly to me. Strange, right? Yeah. So going forward 3 days after the body was found two suitcases surfaced in a coin-operated locker at Bergen railway station. [bleep] yeah. Inside of it wigs. It feels like a CIA agent. Like what the [bleep] going [laughter] on? Different colors, different styles, makeup, etc. and a tube of eczema cream non-prescription glasses. Oh so there’s like just oh just Yeah. Intelligence. Yeah, this is this is some this is some Russian KGB [bleep] like for sure.

And the reason why they knew it was hers is because on the sunglasses that they found in that suitcase No tag. was [laughter] It was a partial fingerprint on the lens that matched the dead woman’s hand. Okay. Okay. So that’s how they That’s how they were able to like tie it together. Yeah. So inside of it clothing, maps, train tables, or train timetables. Mhm. Um it covered half of Western Europe, a small notepad filled with handwriting nobody could immediately read, and cash. It had Norwegian kroner, Belgian francs, British pounds, Swiss coins, and five 100 Deutschmark notes. Okay, this is 100% like who carries that many different currencies?

Black Widow [bleep] Like this is some [bleep] And not only that, it was hidden inside the lining of the suitcase. Okay, okay, okay. I feel like when they 100% like you know this is coming up like they probably when they like [bleep] killed her it was probably like let’s just make it as confusing as possible. Let’s just use a bunch of [bleep] Like all right, shooter, stabber, burner, [laughter] put a pills on it like they just want to you can’t decide what’s happening. After the discovery, Bergen police did something that would end up being the backbone of the entire investigation. They had a sketch of the dead woman’s face drawn up and sent to every hotel in Norway.

Along with a description and asking simply, “Has anyone seen this woman?” Yeah, not giving any information. Just like you seen her? Yeah. The answer when it came back was almost too much to process. We’ve all seen her. Hotel after hotel, city after city, yes. They just they knew her as somebody different than who the name. They knew her as a different person in each city. Is her given name aliases, yeah? Yes, exactly. Police pulled hotel registration cards from across the country and began reconstructing her final year. And what came together on paper wasn’t a single woman’s movements, it seemed to be a small crowd of women all wearing the same face with the same features, but circling the map.

Yeah, and with little alterations of disguises, right? So, across 1970 from Bergen to Oslo, Paris, Stavanger, which is another another place she checked into hotels under at least eight separate identities. Each one a complete fabrication, each one dressed up with its own invented city of birth, its own small little lie. Jesus, what the [bleep] Like what’s the end game? Like what are you trying to get? So I’m going to read out some of the aliases and forgive me because they’re not um American? American. Uh so there’s uh Genevieve Lantier. Oh, nice. That’s a nice one. I like that, Genevieve. Claudia Tilt. Okay. Claudia Nielsen. Mhm.

Alexa Zarmekas. Merch Merches? Uh Merches. Vera Va- Yarley. Uh Fenella Yo- Lorc. Elizabeth Leinauer. All of these had a different city of origin. Yeah. Every single one of these women claimed to be Belgian though. Every registration card without exception was filled out in French or German, meaning she also spoke these other languages. Okay, this [bleep] is like this this [bleep] is in like this is [laughter] This is far deeper. No wonder it hasn’t been solved. Like this is deeper than we than than us. This is above our pay grade. Like the the female Jason Bourne like Oh [laughter] my god, it’s Jason Bourne. So every home address she ever gave ended up being vacant lots or non-existent street numbers.

So she would You know, you have to put your calculated. I mean this is [bleep] calculated. She wasn’t just like an avid traveler. To hotel staff, she introduced herself as a traveling saleswoman. Wow, classic. Sometimes as an antiquities dealer. She always paid cash, never check, never anything that could be traced back to the bank. She frequently asked to change rooms after she had been um checked in. I don’t know what I’m tapping the rooms. Mhm. Sometimes more than once during a single stay, and no one could ever explain why. Though more than one staff member noted she always seemed to prefer rooms that didn’t face the street.

She wiped down glasses and surfaces after meals. Interesting. Wow. Staff remembered her as fluent in French, fluent in German, halting and uncertain in English. Halting and uncertain. I love it. [laughter] She also had an accent that out of all of the dozens of witnesses they could never place. It’s like some mix between everything, probably. I don’t know, right? One waitress recalled her dining beside two German naval officers, an odd pairing that nobody at the time thought to flag. Another remembered oddly that she smelled distinctly of garlic. Mhm, delicious. The kind of small, specific human detail that somehow has survived 50 years of retelling this story.

[laughter] Garlic and gap gap teeth. Garlic and gap teeth. I mean She had that wedge in [laughter] her face. Attractive. I told you. Attractive. Garlic. Like, damn, like, why am I so into her? I can’t [laughter] help myself. What’s happening? She smells delicious. She was seen alive for the last time in November 23rd, 1970, checking out of room 407 of the Hotel Hordaheim Hordaheim Hordaheim in Bergen. She paid in cash. Obviously. She asked the front desk to call her a taxi. That driver was never identified, never came forward, and never surfaced in any later re-canvassing. What happened to her in the in the next 6 days between that checkout and the moment the two young girls found her has never been reconstructed by anyone.

Um 6 days in a small city and not one confirmed sighting. I just want to say like isn’t it like wild how like just what? 50 years ago how easy it was to do something like this. Bro, I know. Like how to disappear or to different person. Like you’re giving them information that they can’t check immediately. There’s no [bleep] internet. They’re like it’ll take 6 months to get like a response from the government like by a [bleep] carrier pigeon. Yeah. Like it’s like crazy. It’s just 50 years ago. Like whereas now it’s like we have our own 8,000 [bleep] CCTV cams. Yeah. Like we’re we’re 3,000 drones.

Been satellite We’ve been pinging her location every second for like we have her text messages. We have her [bleep] internet search history. It’s everything. Everything. But like back then she could just like [bleep] do whatever the [bleep] she wanted. All you had to do is pay cash instead of check. Like it’s like what the [bleep] So in the one of the suitcases that they found at the the train station or the coin operated thing, they found a notepad. And in the notepad there’s some writings. And you mentioned like it was hard for them to they couldn’t like couldn’t quite figure it out. Yeah. Okay. Now this is the debatable part.

And I listened to a lot and I listened to the whole all the things. They all say it was a coded writing. Oh, it’s like an encryption? Yeah. But I I propose a different thing which is it’s just it might have been just notes. Right? It doesn’t necessarily ne- Yeah, but if you can’t But if you can’t make it out then No, but the but the thing is like Like but have you seen like if you looked at my Yeah. So it was legible. But it was It was like nonsense. Yeah, it was a little bit of a nonsense, but there were numbers and dates and like things.

probably coded, bro. First of all, Yes. homegirl has nine identities. She’s only She got cash hidden in the lining of her [bleep] suitcase. She’s got wigs, fake glasses, like it’s clearly in code. It’s clearly in coded notes. Like it is. Let’s be real. saw my like I have little notepads You’re a legitimate businessman. No, [laughter] but if you if you saw it I I write in I make notes in what would be called like shorthand. Yeah, but shorthand is still It’s still just for me. Like it’s just quick notes. And you wouldn’t You wouldn’t really We know what that is. [laughter] We know We can decode that.

This is crazy. Why is Who Who asked for that? Hate boss. [laughter] Ask for raise. It’s what’s called shorthand. It [laughter] is. This is like I’m just pissed. [gasps] [laughter] No wife. Possibly. Pissed. Yeah. [bleep] ass. I like [laughter] that one. I’m going to write I’m going to write that I have a shared notes with my boss. I’m going to write that randomly in [bleep] ass. [laughter] He’s going to be like, “What the fuck?” Yeah, they don’t worry about it. It’s just shorthand. It’s shorthand. It’s shorthand. Trust me. But eventually investigators broke the code, quote unquote, hiding in her notepad. And it turned out to not be a diary at all.

No confessions, no explanations, nothing personal in a way a diary would you be used. So, it’s not really a diary. It was a private shorthand that had dates, initials, place names, and a tight disciplined record of a life in constant motion. Circling things, doubling back across a map with some organization that doesn’t necessarily belong to an ordinary traveler. I’d be so I’d be so interested to like Almost like a ledger. I would be so interested to check these locations and like find the common denominator between these locations. Like what’s the what’s like what’s the value? Like other a specific bank there or if there’s like military outpost or if there’s some sort of natural resource that coincides like But if that’s the definition of a system of like covering her tracks.

Like we don’t know. Or even recording or even recording this already did that. I’m not going to go there again or whatever. Or if it’s like if she goes back to a place a certain number of times, that’s an indicator of like yeah. That’s the the target or whatever the [bleep] you looking for. cover her tracks, make sure that like she’s not getting followed, she’s not getting identified. it could be a cover her tracks thing. I was thinking more of it’s like maybe maybe the the way you travel is an indication of like what to do next to like the the higher-ups. Like if I double back on the third roundabout on this one, you know like that’s where you need to go or like you know that’s the spot.

This That’s what I’m saying. I would I would love to know if there’s a common denominator like what what is that all these places or at least at some of these places that matches up where it’s like okay this is what they’re looking for. Well in our Patreon we’ll post what they were cuz you could you can pretty much see they’re like Yeah, we’ll solve this together as a team. They’re like city it’s like Paris and a number and like an M. Maybe that’s some sort of like indication. Dude, that’s it’s it’s code. Eric Sherman. But what if this [bleep] [bleep] Or if it’s like you know you’re telling your boss you did all the thing.

It’s like a checklist. It’s [laughter] like the TPS report. I did it. I went there. Comply. And I went there. Here’s the Excel. I I told you. [laughter] I promise. It’s like you’re you’re you’re guy getting [bleep] I know. Like this is not going to Like 1 second, we don’t have we don’t have [bleep] Grog. Like [bleep] So, be beyond the hotel registers, a handful of secondary sightings survived, scattered years apart, each one adding a little more unease to the story that already had some. A shoe salesman in Stavanger remembered her clearly decades after the fact because she’d insisted, almost stubbornly, he recalled, on buying a pair of rubber boots identical in style to the ones later found near her body.

Okay. Even after he told her plainly they didn’t have her size in stock. She bought them anyway, whatever size he had. [bleep] What? Who I’ll take whatever size you have. small strange detail, but it’s the kind of thing that you know. I mean, have you ever the boots are there at his at her death site. Yeah. But the thing is like have you ever worn shoes that are too small? [bleep] that. I can do it. It’s It’s the worst. It’s the [bleep] worst. I could roll too big. Too big is still a I yeah, I could do it. I could do it with that. But too small, I can’t even Dude, too big, I get [bleep] blisters cuz my foot moves around and I get like [bleep] blisters.

It’s like a rain boot. You can get it You can get away with it, too. I guess it’s fine. Yeah. Why is she buying a rain boot? It’s all part of the [bleep] facade, baby. It’s all the Yeah. That was her That was that alias’s [bleep] shtick. That was a rain farmer. That was his rain boots. A taxi driver, speaking anonymously more than 20 years afterwards in ’91, said that after picking her up outside the hotel, a second man had climbed into the cab partway through the ride and joined them for the rest of the trip to the train station. On this last cab ride?

Or what? Well, this is a ran This is a It’s a random taxi cabbie. 20 years later Yeah, this is this is some D.B. Cooper [bleep] says I picked her up and then I took her to the train station where the suitcases were found and two men got it or a second man got into the cab partway through the ride and joined them for the rest of the trip. I’m sorry, but like if you’re a cab driver for a living there’s no way you’re remembering a detail like that. This [laughter] is zero [bleep] percent. I know it’s Oh yes, there was that one time of my 50,000 [bleep] people driving.

Yeah, it’s so easy to become like I just want to get in on this. I want to get on this. But the weird he was anonymous, but he still wanted a little little clout. In 2005, 35 years later a Bergen man came forward with a memory that he said he’d been carrying around the whole time. In 1970, when he was 26 years old, he had been hiking in the Floyen one of Bergen’s other mountains just 5 days before the body was discovered. He passed a woman dressed far too lightly for the terrain and the season walking ahead of two men in long coats he described as southern.

Choice Hotels get you more of what you value. Comfort Inn, it’s calling your name. Save on the stay. Oh, and free waffles are yours to claim. Book direct at choicehotels.com. Okay, well what does that mean? She looked directly at him as they passed. For a moment it seemed like she was about to say something to him. She didn’t. And he mentioned the encounter at the time in 1970 to someone he knew inside the police. I was hoping he’d be like she would smile and he was like and I saw into her throat cuz it was the gap. [laughter] Supposedly though, the police told him to forget it.

They I mean you can imagine it’s like when something happens and like the police hotlines blown up they’re just like stop calling like [bleep] off. Like Nobody wrote his name down. Nobody logged the sighting in any file. For 35 years as far as the official record was concerned, that encounter simply didn’t exist. Until a man in his 60s decided finally that it would matter that he [clears throat] should say something. D.B. Cooper. This is this is this pure D.B. Cooper [bleep] They denied me. There’s no record of me ever doing anything, but trust me. [snorts] So composite sketches went out through Interpol reaching well beyond Norway’s borders across Europe into North Africa into the Middle East.

Newspapers stories picked up. Nobody came forward. No family no lover no employer, no friend reporting a woman who’d simply stopped calling, stopped writing uh stopped existing in someone else’s life. In a country the size of Norway in an era before any real international data sharing between police forces, that silence became its own kind of answer. Yeah, [bleep] was in the [bleep] like she was like secret service somebody. Yeah, she was KGB. She was something. Yeah. Not [snorts] proof of anything, but the absence investigators had to work with. And on February 5th, 1971 just over 2 months after her body was found Bergen police officially closed the file.

Yeah, I mean you would just have such limited resources at that point in time. Like what are you going to do? Like The cause of death, probable suicide. What? That’s How in the [bleep] did they come to that conclusion? Because of the pills? But pills and the fire and get the [bleep] out of here. So So when she was unconscious she lit a fire. I get the [bleep] out of town. Like, come on. Now, there’s one There’s one point in the research that came up, um, which is that some people say, and maybe we’ll we’ll pull it up right If you guys want to pull it up, is that some say that the case was actually closed by the police 3 weeks after.

Okay. After it happened? After it happened as opposed to 3 months. Ooh, interesting. hard to know, uh, exactly the truth of that. I don’t know if you guys want to pull it up like and go is that a true datum? Like, when was it closed? Do you know what I mean? Like, cuz I got conflicting data. Well, this says Norwegian police officially closed the Isdal Woman case in February 1971, just a few months after her body was discovered in the Isdalen Valley. Yeah. Uh, the de- They ruled it a suicide due to presence of sleeping pills, despite lingering questions surrounding her erased identity and missing belongings.

Yeah. So, in the In the podcast that I listened to, I do I did find one that says that, uh, it was ruled a pro- probable suicide and shut it, uh, only weeks after the body was found. On November 29th, she was given a Catholic burial on February 5th. Okay. Yeah. So, that’s what I said. conflicting. There’s some conflicting information. So, the podcast that I listened to, which was, uh, Death in Ice Valley, they they went they did an entire episode about how up in arms they were about the police closing it 3 weeks after. Mhm. So, you see how it’s a little confusing because in in the the podcast that blew up and is the staple of this investigation, says that the case was closed 3 weeks after.

I mean, and also we have to we have to take into account like this this did happen 50 years ago. Yeah. So, you know, we it wasn’t as like, you know, records and way people like wrote [bleep] down, if you didn’t write it down, like what was translated it’s not as like clean and finite as it is nowadays where there’s a Yeah. digital [bleep] footprint to everything. So, maybe it was 3 months, maybe it was 3 weeks. We may never know. But it’s sus if it was 3 weeks. It’s super sus. Oh, yeah. Right? Well, I mean, [bleep] it would take I thought it it would take 3 weeks just to get the confirmations back from the hotel.

Like she And the forensic, the autopsy, all that [bleep] Yeah. So, I don’t know. Uh I don’t know. You guys send in what you guys think on that one because We found it it’s up in the air. conflicting, yeah. I had I had a thing tell me 3 months, or I had a thing say 3 weeks, so. Yeah. So, she was buried that same day in Merilond Cemetery in an unmarked grave under a Catholic right, I guess, based on nothing more concrete than her habit of borrowing saints’ names for her fake identities across a dozen hotel registries. I it’s interesting that they would bury her.

Like I thought like nowadays don’t you just get cremated? Like they have to buy you a casket and like this seems like it’s like pricey for like the taxpayers. I don’t know. So, nobody showed up for her funeral except for 16 police officers. Oh, wow, good that that’s good for those guys. I mean, I would have not shown up. Like So, she was sealed inside a zinc coffin, What the [bleep] chosen deliberately specifically so that her remains would be preserved indefinitely they could like zoom the [bleep] they could examine it if needed. Smart. in the case that a family ever did surface. Is that expensive?

Like I feel like that seems like some futuristic [bleep] This is zinc this is zinc coffin. Solid zinc. Pretty crazy, actually. Yeah. The funeral itself was photographed. Um so, you could pull that up and you could see it. An album was kept tucked away in police archive waiting for someone who never came. Nobody has ever come to claim her. Not in 1971 and not as of today. Yeah. For more than four decades that was where her story stopped entirely. A name that was never real, a grave with no name on it at all. And a case file slowly turning to dust in archives. Gathering the specific kind of institutional silence that swallows unsolved cases everywhere.

Dude, I want to go to her grave. I want to go to Norway. Go to her grave. It would be kind of cool. Yeah, like when we’re balling, that’s where we’re doing it. So, as we come to pretty close to the to the wrap of episode one part one of this episode we fast forward. And that was when the case reopened in 2016. Mhm. 46 years after the fire in in Isdalen a Norwegian investigative journalist named Marit Higraff went looking through the dust and found something nobody working the case in 1970 could have told her. The original tissue and dental samples from 1970 autopsy and it and it survived.

They’d been carefully preserved all along sitting quietly in storage waiting for forensic science to finally catch up to what they would reveal. How do you [bleep] preserve some [bleep] for 50 [bleep] years? Jesus. Um Just on like straight ice? I mean, it is Norway and stuff. Is it something just [bleep] zinc plated? So, Higraff took her findings to Bergen police and made the case to formally reopen the investigation. This time armed with tools that didn’t exist in 1970 which is DNA sequencing. Mhm. Capable of tracing maternal ancestry back centuries and stable isotope analysis capable of reading a person’s childhood diet and by their extension their likely region of origin directly out of the enamel of their teeth.

Yeah, I want them to do like I want them to do an isotope cuz I got to mean they’re like I see hot pockets and bagel bites. This is what what is wild. [laughter] He had 7,000 packets of ramen. [laughter] This is bizarro. Like holy [bleep] And they’re still eating them. They never decompose. There’s so much sodium in this man’s body. And that’s where we’re going to wrap up part one. Um and in part two we’re going to go over the podcast that took the world by storm. They came out with a podcast in 2017, 2018. Like an episode or a whole podcast about this?

It came out with a series. It was 12 episodes. [bleep] And um I was fortunate enough to listen to it before we did this show or this um episode, so All 12? All 12 of them. Yeah. Yeah, on the road trip, baby. Yeah, I did it on a road trip, so it was perfect timing and um basically in the next episode we’re going to go over what they found in the DNA exploration. Okay. And then it leads into the possibility of who it could have been and the theories that lead or the theories that are the number one theories for it today. All right. Okay.

Looking forward to it. So before we cut out for this one episode. [laughter] What are we thinking? I mean Where are you Where are you guys at right now? Like what Dude, I watch way too many spy government Yeah, same. related [bleep] [laughter] I’m like she was [bleep] This is like the original lioness program. Like she was [bleep] Yeah. in mind the time. So we’re in 1970. Mhm. This is Cold War. Oh, true. Yeah. Okay, so like So, I know you guys brought up like she’s a spy, but like a spy for who? And for what? What did she You know what I mean? Like what I mean I think it I think the only at that time like ultra-sophisticated Yeah.

level of thing where they’re going to have someone who speaks multiple languages and like the like this level of sophistication for the ’70s is the Russians. Mhm. Or CIA. Soviets at the time, right? I just don’t see why like you have a CIA asset in [bleep] this traipsing around [bleep] Norway. a lot of American connections. in the story. and also it’s like well maybe maybe Horace is like thinking like cuz they did say like her English was ass. Yeah, but she was fluent in German and French. Yeah. So, like that’s what leads me to believe recruit everybody. And you know, how many Americans How many Americans smell of garlic?

Not [laughter] a one, man. She was from [bleep] Transylvania. Like that’s where the smell of garlic The [bleep] you see her like listen for a little garlic spritz on her. [laughter] She was Polish. Let’s be real. Let’s be honest. All right. How many Americans smell of But where are you guys at on the fact that it could still be a suicide? No. No, it’s zero. Zero. Zero? Literally negative percent chance. Okay, here’s a theory before we get into the next episode. Okay. Theory. She wanted to kill herself. No. Okay. I mean possibly. Keep going. She took the pills. Uh-huh. Yeah? The pills made her woozy.

Mhm. She took 50, dog. Like [snorts] woozy made her literally sleep sleep. Woozy or Yeah, what? Yeah. Sleep sleep. You take one, you got to sleep. She took 50. [laughter] She had a fire going. It’s cold. You’re in the mountains. She fell in the fire. But then how did she end up on her back? Yeah, how did she get up and walk and then sleep? she’s burning Well, why was there no evidence of a fire? How is she going to get No. No, there’s no She woke up from the 50 pills and crawled to wherever they found her face up like burnt under the the hat.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, covered in petrol. spread all the evidence everywhere. [laughter] I GOT TO CUT THE TAGS OFF. [laughter] SHE WAS IN A SCRAMBLE. NO. I forgot to cut them. [bleep] Okay. No, dude. I What I really Where I’m at No, zero. He’s like zero. [laughter] Dude, what it probably happened was like either some counter intelligence found her out. Yeah. She’s like, “Shit, hit the hit the mountains.” Walked her up. No, I No, I don’t think walked her up. I think she was like running. She fled. And she was like she was seen with the two guys. That was at a previous That was at a previous And that was like 50 years later.

Get the [bleep] out of town. Fine. Cabbie’s like, “Oh, I saw [laughter] her. She was like Trust me. She was hot. I remember. She had that gap in her teeth. You loved it. Loved the gap. And the garlic. Oh, I think [laughter] Garlic couldn’t get enough. It’s all the liquor. No, I think she was fled up there, tried to [bleep] pop pop pillies to [bleep] to to kill herself, and they’re like, “No, wakey wakey wakey. Fire.” That’s why it’s only a burn on the front. They were probably like, “Okay, well, we’ll torture her for [bleep] intel.” [bleep] crisp Bruise on the neck. Yeah, bruise on the neck, crisp it up.

And then they’re just like re go rifling through her [bleep] There’s [bleep] in here. And then they’re like, “Fucking dip.” But if she took the pills, she fell, hit her neck. Mhm. Also possible. And then just burnt. She fell, hit her neck, and then spontaneously combusted. she burnt. I mean, after she was on fire, you mean? No, she She was woozy. her neck. She was woozy. The match lit. [laughter] It’s so ridiculous, man. [laughter] Pill bottle explodes. The sunlight literally just ignited her. All right. You know the one thing though, like the pills, she didn’t take all 50 at once. That’s right. She took them in a a sequence.

Two or three patches, patches, right? Yeah, two or three patches. she thought they they’re on to me. Let me just pop a couple like But No, but like be cool. Also, and just to go like to question it is if she was going to kill herself, there’s still the fact that she had all these aliases. But the thing is like So what is she doing with all these aliases? Well, she’s definitely a spy. I’m sorry, but Some sort [laughter] of some sort of intelligence. That’s the only way you get that. That kind of a So she could have killed herself, but she was still a spy.

Yes. No, but if you’re trying to kill your If you’re trying to kill yourself kill herself. you take the pills in like not all of them at the same time? You just You’d want to be sure. That’s true. You’re not going to be like, “Oh, I’m going to take 10.” 50 is sure. I’m going to take 10 No, 50 is a 100. Sure. But why are you going to Why are you going to like space them out? You’re not going to be like, “Wait, I’m going to take 10 and like chill. See how I feel.” No one thinks like that. I’m going to take The way the pills don’t kick in yet.

All [laughter] right. She’s like, “These things suck.” They’re not working. She’s like, “This thing This stuff sucks.” I’m used to way stronger than this [bleep] You know what I should do? Fall in the fire. [laughter] What the [bleep] It’s so confusing. Where is the fire? It’s not like there was like a campfire next to her. They would have like noticed that. didn’t notice anything about that. How did she get to a place where there was no That was covered in petrol. That’s what I’m saying. That’s what I’m saying. Like this seemed like she was caught. Maybe she was wearing a Ruski shirt and they’re like, “What the [bleep] are you doing here?” Ruski shirt.

[laughter] And they’re like, “Whoa.” She’s like, “Whoa.” And it was just “I’m cold in the mountains.” And like, “Okay.” Threw on the fire face first, like, “Bitch, tell us where you Where you at?” And she’s like, “Where are the diamonds?” [laughter] “Where are the diamonds?” I don’t know why there’s a German guy saying, “Where are the diamonds?” Could be German. True. Well, in [snorts] the next episode, we got a lot of uh now we’re going to get into the conspiracies and the theories. Some say um for the Soviets, uh some say there’s some Nazi ties uh when she was a younger, and she was escaping Nazism.

Uh some say that she was a spy, and She is. 100%. Why do you Dog, what regular human has cash No, it’s not. of all the First of all, how do you even All the currencies, all the different passports. lining? Wigs, disguises, wigs, fake glasses. Yeah. Like, come on, this isn’t like hipster [bleep] didn’t come out till way later. There’s no way she’s wearing non-prescription glasses. Sounds like my suitcase. [laughter] There’s still like [bleep] dildos in the lining. BUNCH OF WIGS. [laughter] I WAS TRYING TO FEEL GOOD, ALL RIGHT? [laughter] [bleep] IT’S coming back. I swear. Uh all right, well, we’ll catch you guys next time.

And again, uh a big shout-out to uh Turquoise Man. Turquoise Man, Turquoise Man, uh much appreciated homie. Uh if you guys want to support the show and keep it going, go to patreon.com/theconspiracy. Don’t you want your own episode? Mm. Don’t you want the copious amount of shout-outs we’re going to give you? Um um unending. Don’t you want to be elite? Stop being a sucker. Join the Patreon. Also, it’s really cool, and we’ll give you a little teaser. We’re coming out We’re coming out with a uh more content for the Patreons only. Um and we are limiting certain levels and we’re we’re going to announce it next month.

It’s going to be very cool, but it’s Patreons only. So, get in now. Yeah. Get in now. Get in while the getting’s good. [clears throat] So, uh, make sure you tune in, smash the [bleep] out of that subscribe button. just delete that. No, no, just just click it like a regular person. Don’t [bleep] smash anything. You’ll get alerted to next Tuesday’s release of part two of the Is that woman? We love you guys. So, we’ll catch you next time on the conspiracy podcast. Nighty night. What’s up, guys? I hope you enjoyed this episode. I want to invite you to join us for our Patreon. So, what that is is an exclusive membership where you’re going to be able to get exclusive discounts like 15% off on all our merch.

And you won’t have to listen to these ads ever No more ads. Oh. ever again. Plus, you’re going to be able to access our minis episodes. So, that’s something that nobody else is going to get access to. They’re just short podcast episodes with about 15 minutes long or so. So, cool, you know, extra content that you’re going to get access to. I know, and all those other suckers are waiting for next Tuesday, but you’re going to hit some minis up, you know, fill the void. That’s right. Instead of, you know, having to wait the rest of the peasants for the next episode. All you got to do is go to patreon.com/theconspiracypodcast and you’ll find us.

There are many different levels there, all giving different amounts of content. That’s right. All right, ladies and gentlemen, nighty night. [laughter]