Hi everybody, I’m Eric. I am Sean, what’s up guys. This is Jorge, welcome to the Conspiracy Podcast. Tonight we are talking about Hitler, that dude, Adolf Hitler. So for the longest time, actually since he died, a lot of people think he got away. Dude, it’s part of the conspiracy, it’s a huge thing actually. When you’re the most powerful person in the world, you can kind of get away from stuff sometimes.

I know in like 1944 it was starting to get a little bit obvious, maybe 45 even, it was starting to get clear that Germany was going to lose. I mean, we were still worried in 44 about what was going to happen, but in 45 it became pretty clear that Hitler was going to lose. We were going to slowly advance, the Allies, from Russia on one side to the Allies on the other, and Russia just throwing millions of their soldiers into death. One of the biggest battles was the Battle of Stalingrad, I think a million people died. If you look at the stats, Russia took the heaviest losses, I think like 13 million Russians died. It was ridiculous, insane.

So just imagine you have world domination in your mind. You’re going to conquer the Aryan race, you were going to take over the world, eugenics. And what’s interesting is, you start off in 38, 39, he starts invading and he does this blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg is basically overwhelm, take over, go. The concept is a military strategy. I am going to take over your home by surprising you and taking you over instantly with overwhelming force. You look at it on a map and Germany from 39 expanded, they took over Poland, Yugoslavia, France, they just started steamrolling with all their artillery and tanks, everything.

Obviously this is a very short description of World War II, a lot happened, there’s other podcasts to give you the full download. Shout out to Dan Carlin’s podcast, it’s amazing. World War I, World War II, if you want a really in-depth one it’s incredible. Free plug, Dan Carlin, it’s fantastic. But this story is about Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, and this story is about what happened to him at the end of the war and did it happen the way the history books have written it.

So in about January 1945 the Soviets were coming in on Germany. The Soviets were there first, they were getting there before the Allies. Up until like 43, 44 Germany was essentially winning the war, they were dominating. And so then finally with Normandy, with the Battle of Stalingrad, things started to turn for the Allies, and I include the USSR, the Soviets, into that. They were the Allies, of course, but they were coming the other way. So in January of 45 Hitler withdrew to his bunker in Germany. This was 55 feet under the chancellery and it contained 18 rooms.

It’s like a mansion underground. It had running water, it had electrical, it pays to be the Fuhrer. So this is when everybody’s coming in, the Soviets were literally at the doorstep, they were fighting in Berlin, the Allies were probably a month away. He brought into the bunker Hermann Goering, he brought Joseph Goebbels, the propaganda guy who ran all that. He also brought Eva Braun, who he was not married to at the time. So his mistress, yeah. We’ll just call her his mistress. So Russia was advancing across Poland, two and a half million Russian soldiers came into Berlin.

So we’re going to walk through his last night or two and see what happened. One of the first things he did was go nuts essentially. His liaison officer, whose name was Hermann Fegelein, was executed that night. And for what? For being his liaison officer. What’s crazy is that Fegelein’s wife was Eva Braun’s sister. How ruthless is that, that he doesn’t give a damn, that’s his sister-in-law, and he just pops him off. Hitler didn’t do anything as far as issuing a pardon. He was shot from behind in a cellar there in the bunker that night, and they left the corpse in the bunker.

Okay, so April 28th 1945, about midnight, there’s somebody named Gertrude Junge, that’s Hitler’s secretary. The secretary would describe the atmosphere in the bunker at the end of April as having an aimless, dreamlike quality, noting that Hitler had finished dictating his personal and political testament within like midnight to 1 a.m. So like his final, you’re all gonna die but not me. So 1 a.m. comes along and Hitler marries Eva Braun. This is a 1 a.m. ceremony that lasted 10 minutes.

I mean there’s some element of humanity I guess, where he’s like I want to get married, or is this part of the conspiracy. The Goebbels were there, no other females were there for some reason except for Eva. And then Hitler returned to impatiently oversee Junge, the secretary, who was still transcribing the shorthand notes of his personal and political wills that he dictated in the night. So he basically went, married her, then ran back 10 minutes later and was like, are you done with the notes, the testament. What kind of ass hat stops mid-wedding to run and make sure his last words are transcribed in shorthand properly.

I can only imagine Eva Braun as such a wimpy character. Eva Braun’s like the original gold digger, she’s like I’m only with you because you run the world. I have no pity for Eva Braun, neither do I. So anyway, they got married and Hitler described his final things. In his last transcribed items he said, I myself and my wife, in order to escape the disgrace of deposition or capitulation, choose death. It is our wish to be burnt immediately on the spot where I have carried out the greatest part of my daily work in the course of 12 years’ service to my people.

And according to Junge, she was then asked by Hitler to take note of his final political statement. In it he decries that he never intended to be faced with war in 1939 and he blamed the Jewish people for the carnage. It’s your fault, your country, like the most stupidest thing I’ve ever heard ever. It’s their fault that I killed three million of them. How self-righteous can you be. Closing the first part of his political statement, Hitler again outlined his intention to end his own life, saying, I have therefore decided to stay in Berlin and there to choose death voluntarily when I determine that the position of the Fuhrer in the chancellery itself can no longer be maintained. So he’s basically saying I’m going to die, I’m going to kill myself, that’s my country, I can’t do anything else.

Okay, so April 29th at 4 in the morning, Hitler’s political testament is done being transcribed by Junge and is signed by Goebbels, Bormann, and two generals named Burgdorf and Krebs. It was distributed with three messengers, one copy to be sent to the Admiral, one to the Marshal, and so on. 5 a.m., Hitler still awake, exhausted. He’s over 40, I think it was the amphetamines, he was getting his drinks. So Hitler retires. 5 a.m. Hitler goes to his quarters with his wife Eva, now wife. Junge is left to finish typing Goebbels’ testament. This chick’s the slave. First it was Hitler’s testament, his final, now it’s Goebbels as the second, he’s like hey that looked kind of cool, let me try.

By the way, Goebbels was a loser, an absolute sack of garbage. If you want to read about a loser you go read about Goebbels. Aside from everything he did in the war with propaganda and creating genocide and killing many people, at the end he essentially tricked his entire family into committing suicide. Six children. How did he trick them? The capsules. They didn’t even know, that’s why I say he tricked them. That’s why I say Joseph Goebbels is the piece of garbage of the day right now, aside from Hitler obviously.

Okay, so by 10 a.m. all communications are cut off. The Soviets are coming in, all the radio communications, the towers, they’re shot down and things are getting wild. So at 11 a.m. on April 29th, Hitler’s valet, Heinz Linge, knocks on the door of his bedroom. For six years it was his job to ensure that Hitler was dressed and up on time and ready to go. This time Hitler was already awake, already fully dressed, ready to roll. Hitler’s barber then attended to his hair, the whole crew there, super stash, give me a fresh fade and a stash. And per his barber, he received cocaine eye drops. This guy, little eye drops that have little traces of cocaine in them, it numbs your eyes, wakes you up.

Wasn’t he also getting amphetamines from his doctor? This dude was on all the drugs, a super drug addict. Couldn’t get a hard on, because he’s big time, his blood’s so thin, impotent. There’s a lot more about how he took strychnine and a bunch of other stuff. Can you imagine how psychotic he was, fully insane, yelling at people. There’s a great German movie that came out, it’s all in German and it’s the last days of Hitler, you should actually watch it. You’ve probably seen super clips and memes where it’s your fantasy team and it’s Hitler in the bunker, it’s from that movie.

So 2 p.m. that day Hitler has a meal with Eva and a bunch of secretaries, and he starts discussing what’s the best method of suicide, like a public debate. He considers shooting yourself the best way, it’s quick, instant, painless. Eva says she wants to be a beautiful corpse. What a D. Okay, so this is a shitty part of the story, the whole story is shitty. At 3 o’clock Werner Haase is told by Hitler to test cyanide on Hitler’s dog. Hitler’s dog was a very famous German Shepherd named Blondi. How low can you go. They put a capsule into the mouth of the dog and it fell sideways as if struck by lightning and died, and then there was a sudden smell of almonds in the air. So this piece of garbage tested it out on their dog first, right out the gate.

Then fast forward seven hours, at that time Hitler received news that Mussolini, the Italian dictator, died. Good riddance. I didn’t know that happened right at the same time, same week. So 2 a.m. he has a bit of a party, seriously. It’s inside the mind of a psychopath, it’s a bit of a party, a farewell, drinks for the wedding. Some of the guards, some of the SS members, said he was just out of it, almost like he was drugged up, staring off. They partied for a couple hours, Hitler went to bed at 4:30 that night. This guy’s on coke, gonna be up for 25 hours, woke up two hours later bright bushy tail.

So Hitler was up at 6:30 on the 30th of April, fully dressed, and he went to visit the garden to see the sun, but it was not very sunny, they were being bombed, clouds everywhere. So then they went back into the bunker. 12:30 p.m. comes, Eva chooses her final outfit. Hitler summons Bormann to come into his study where he explains that he’s going to take his life and he instructed his bodyguard to cremate the bodies. Then at 12:45 Hitler summons him, the time has come and his body should be burned. 1 p.m. he eats his final meal.

Wait, but I thought home girl wanted to be a beautiful corpse. It’s not really a beautiful corpse when you’re burnt to a crisp. So at 1 o’clock he eats his final meal with Eva and it was spaghetti with cabbage and raisin salad. That sounds terrifying. Why would you eat that for your last meal? I’d be like, loser, get me a Porterhouse, a wagyu A5, that tomahawk, I’m going to eat the bone too. So 2:45 comes around and he gathered all the staff in the bunker to say goodbye, Goebbels, Bormann, the secretary, all of them.

So 3:30 p.m. April 30th, Hitler kills himself, he shoots himself in the head. Eva takes a cyanide pill. Everyone else is like, we’re not going to kill ourselves, they’re just waiting. So Goebbels, Bormann, all these other guys are just waiting outside, and it was reported that somebody said the following, and I quote: Bormann went in first, then I followed, the valet. Hitler was sitting in a chair, Eva was lying on the couch, she had taken off her shoes and placed them neatly together at one end of the couch. Hitler’s face was covered in blood. There were two guns, one was a Walther PPK, it was Hitler’s, the other was a small pistol he always carried in his pocket. And Eva wore a blue dress with a white collar and cuffs, her eyes were wide open, there was a stench of cyanide in the air, the smell was so strong that I thought my clothes would smell for days, but it may have been my imagination. And that was from Hitler’s bodyguard.

Okay, so this is the important part. Three SS guards and the valet carry Hitler’s body to the garden as Martin Bormann lifts the body of Eva, she’s covered in a blanket, out into the corridor where Erich Kempka carries her to the stairs before the guard takes over. The chauffeur arrives with gasoline. The bodies are placed in a shallow depression outside the bunker near an abandoned cement mixer. Joseph Goebbels produces a box of matches, the SS guard lights some paper to create a torch and sets fire to the bodies. As the funeral party returns to the safety of the staircase, a final Heil Hitler is shouted, arms are raised, before they descend again into the underground of the bunker.

Man, I can’t believe they stayed true to him this whole time. I’d have been like screw this, let’s get the heck out of here. So Hitler’s chauffeur said at the end of it, even after the bodies were burned we were imprisoned by the very presence of Hitler, we could not get away from the smell, it smelled like burning bacon. That was from the chauffeur. So at 4:15 Otto sits down next to Junge, grabs a bottle of schnapps, which is the most disgusting thing, have you had schnapps lately, it’s terrifying. So he grabs a bottle of schnapps and he says to her, I’ve carried out the Fuhrer’s last order, his body has been burned, now what about you.

So 6:30 comes around, two SS officers managed to partially cover up the hole. It’s been more than two hours since the bodies were brought up, and the SS men have returned to the remains with more gasoline to reignite the fire and complete the job. Interrogations say that 200 liters of gasoline were used. That’s a lot, Jesus Christ. So the next day Joseph Goebbels arranged the death of the six children in the bunker and then kills himself. The next day after that, the city surrenders.

So where did this recounting come from, who gave all this data? It’s interviews from the guards, Hitler’s bodyguard Colonel Otto Gunsche, and the secretary, remember Junge, that’s where they’re getting a lot of the information from. So then May 4th, which is about two or three days later, it was announced that Hitler’s remains were discovered by the Soviets. But how do they know it was his remains? They found the remains in the garden of the chancellery above the bunker, it’s two people burnt. Like Forensic Files, we don’t really know if they found his remains.

So then later on in 1945 two German U-boats arrived and it’s documented that they landed at the ports of Argentina. As far as reading a story, that’s kind of where I’m ending off as far as what we know, because that is true. The Germans did have a couple U-boats land in Argentina, and it is confirmed that there were quite a few Germans, especially Nazi members, that were living in Argentina, especially in one specific town. They had their own little community. That’s true data. You go there and everybody’s having a Frankfurt sausage. Literally a bunch of people are just having empanadas and sauerkraut and they’re like, well this is kind of weird.

So the theory is, one of the theories, that he got away. The idea is, one of the biggest ones that keeps going, is Joseph Goebbels was the guy of PR, propaganda, manipulation of an idea, a concept, an argument, and he was one of the last three people to verify his death. That’s what I think is weird. Anytime you have that, it’s really weird how it’s all perfectly documented to cooperate. It is kind of interesting that they’re all still super subservient to this guy. It’d be really simple for him to just say, this is what happened, me and my lady, we just got married, we’re going to skedaddle out on one of these U-boats.

You have this one guy who’s controlling you, who’s God, so it’s not that far-fetched that they would still be subservient. People that are as narcissistic as Hitler was, I highly doubt that he would just go kill myself and then never say anything about anything. He’s so obsessed with himself, why would he kill himself. But at the same time, if he went to a party he’s a talker, he just won’t shut up, he’s the guy who just keeps talking, and he’s on coke, coke drops on his eyes. So theoretically, let’s say he escaped, he’s going to be silent for the next 40 years? This is the guy, he doesn’t have an army, I’m pretty sure Hitler created Twitter, I need an outlet, I need to talk, I need to speak my mind.

I think he was born in like 1898, 1899 somewhere around there. So if he were to live to an old age it was probably 70, I highly doubt that drug addict would live that long, he was not a healthy specimen by any means. So if he made it to Argentina he probably lived there for like 30 days and then died, early 70s maybe if he was living a clean life, but I highly doubt it. He was eating bratwurst. I love how we constantly have a bratwurst joke. I’m 50% German so I love bratwurst. I love tacos too and I’m 0% Spanish. In Argentina is tacos a thing? No, not at all, that’s definitely a Mexico thing.

If you go to Argentina it’s like traditional Spanish things, it’s more like paella, that’s what you get there, it’s not like Mexico which is the street food, easy, cheap, delicious. So from what I’ve been reading and watching, the amount of documentaries on this is ridiculous, they drive me up the wall. You ever see those documentaries where it’s like hunting the gold of the Nazis, it’s insanity, 30 episodes and we found no evidence. They go, well we found the chip of the gold thing and it was a spoon, and you find out on episode nine. I kid you not, I watched 15 episodes of Hunting Hitler and nothing happened, I rage on it.

In all reality, everyone had Hitler as this all-time mastermind, and I think maybe in the beginning he was doing good. If he wouldn’t have been such a psycho I think he would have conquered the world, but then he went full psycho and everything went out the window. I don’t think there was any thought process about burying gold, I think he was living one second at a time with no clue what was happening. The blitzkrieg was a good idea, a great strategy militarily, I don’t know if it was his idea or somebody else’s, some general was like this is a great idea and they did it and it worked. And then from there it was a series of bad choices by Hitler. They were militarily equipped much better than anybody else, far better weapons, tanks, planes, they were actually equipped to win.

What kind of idiot invades Russia? When you’re dealing with Churchill and the US looming, homies are out to play on the left, and then you’re like, you know what, I’m going to invade Russia. Dumbest idea. Russia at the time had so many people and 80% of their country is uninhabitable, the worst terrain ever. So from what I gather, you think he got away? At first I did, years ago, because a couple things. One is, years ago we thought Russia would not release the bones, would not release the DNA, because they were the ones who came in and conquered Berlin. The Allies came later, East Berlin, West Berlin, the Berlin Wall, the whole thing. So we didn’t know for 40, 50 years.

But do they have a comparable DNA sample? Dental, right. So for the longest time it was unknown, and then History Channel got me going. Honestly, in the 90s, early 2000s, History Channel and me were tight, and I hate them now, you ruined it. But the point being, at the beginning I actually thought about it, because there are a lot of people who did escape to Argentina, and it was all the powerful rich people, and Hitler is the most powerful, most rich person. There’s a lot of German culture that grew from Argentina and also Chile, from the 40s, so there was a lot of evidence that showed there were Germans that made it. And that’s why I totally believed it. And then the more I thought about it, I don’t think Hitler at that point was in a state of mind to pull it off.

If he would have just been a regular dude in that position, you’d be like, sweet, put me in the U-boat, fake to death, easy peasy. I just think he was so much of a lunatic at that point, he was like, yeah I’m killing myself, shot, crazy. He is so vile he made a mustache taboo. If I went and did the Hitler stash nobody would accept that. What’s crazy is, could you imagine what he looked like without it. Maybe all he had to do was shave it off and then he’s a totally different dude, Hitler’s still alive, he just shaved it off and everyone’s like, oh I have no idea who you are, change his name to Goldstein.

A lot of people who believe in that say he got away, made it to Argentina, and then passed away around 62, 64, in that time period. That makes sense, it’s totally possible. It’d be super easy for him to have done that, they had the U-boats. The U-boats were by far the most advanced thing in the war. So he was in the bunker, he knew it was ending, he knew it was the end. Seven days later he brought Eva in, he probably killed a couple SS members, threw their bodies in, burned them down, took a Jeep, US-grade Jeep, a Wrangler, and then you’re in a U-boat and you U-boat it all the way. Or maybe you fly to Italy, whatever, it’s closer to the water, it’d be really easy.

I’ve seen all the movies and documentaries about the U-boats, those things were way far superior, we could barely kill a couple of them. And by that time the war’s over so you’re not looking for them. So I think it’s a good theory, but I do think he killed himself, he just killed himself. You know what, screw you guys, he escaped, I’m flipping. After everything I’ve seen and read, all the documentaries, all the theories, all the History Channels, all the Hunting Hitler stuff, I hate you Hunting Hitler, I just kind of resolved, he killed himself. Because I agree, he would not be the one to keep that a secret. Even on his deathbed he’d be like, wait, finish running my manifesto. He was so psychotic he would have tried to start another revolution.

Here’s a good example. We just did an episode on DB Cooper, there’s five dudes on their deathbed saying I’m DB Cooper. Literally nobody on their deathbed is saying I’m Hitler, it’s just weird. You would think. If they really did make it out, they must have died in the 60s, but that’s the weird thing, I just don’t see it happening. But it would have been so easy for anyone in that bunker, papers, you just go. But why would he show papers at the German border, he owned Germany. He’s going to have to show his passport going to the U-boat. But the odds of him making it through enemy lines, either he goes through the Soviet line or he goes through the Ally line.

I mean, never doubt a guy who’s got an 18-bedroom bunker 55 feet underground. It’s like saying, oh man, how did Elon Musk, you know, couple billy, you can make it. There are some really crazy ones where he’s on the moon, he had a bunker deep under earth. There was also another one where the Nazis were exploring Antarctica, there’s actually ones about that. And there are also weird ones about how the Nazis were using alien technology with the moon, they were using the U-boats to go into space because they were pressurized for that, they were sending U-boats into space.

You believe a shred of that? A shred, that they were maybe researching something, I think it’s totally possible. When it comes to stuff like that, it’s not completely impossible. If you don’t believe a shred of it you’re insane, because it’s not in the infinity of impossibilities, the possibility is there. If you have a conspiracy podcast you’re going to believe a shred. Everyone’s like, 60 years ago to have that technology, but aliens don’t care about 60 years ago, if they’re coming here they’re not going to be like, oh well we can’t have the technology now.

Wait, are you talking about aliens and Hitler? That’s what we were literally just talking about, you asked me if I believed a shred of that. I didn’t know we were talking about aliens, I thought we were talking about Nazis creating technology to go to the moon. No, the theory is that they got that alien technology. More like a Raiders of the Lost Ark scenario, yeah. I was thinking more like Last Crusade, the Holy Grail, yes. She’s like, I can almost touch it, please, and she’s too hot, don’t drop. She wanted the Grail. I wonder where she is now, in real life. If you’re out there, send us an email, we’d love to have you, start the podcast. I’d do a suicide episode, 100%.

I’m going to have to go with, I think he’s dead, I think he died then, committed suicide. And I’m just going to get dark real quick, I think he’s a coward. I agree with that. A coward and a loser, an evil person, and so that makes sense that he would just do that. Actually, I’m going to go out on a limb here, side theory, this is what I believe. I believe that he was going to kill himself, but then the secretary snapped and killed him. I think this was her one time, she’s been under his boot the whole time, and she’s typing his last will, and she snaps. That would be a great ending to a movie, literally like a Quentin Tarantino ending, she shoots him in the head like a hundred times. I like that theory.

All right, well, what do you guys think? I’m with Eric. Yep, unfortunately. I hate when it’s 100%, I hate when we all agree. He was just too batched at that point. If it would have been five years earlier, but we didn’t even go in deep about his drugs, he was getting a steady dose of methamphetamines for years. The cocaine eye drops, that’s next level, who does that, I’ve watched every drug movie ever and they don’t even do that, no one does that. I’m going to have to do a little research on where I got that information. Now that I think about it, you’re super tired, and he’s like, it’s four, I got to be up in two hours, blast. It’s crazy. All right everybody, well thanks for tuning in, we’ll catch you next time.