So if you go back far enough, before Disney songs, before story books, before sailors even knew what lay beyond the horizon, the mermaid does not begin as something beautiful. She begins as something uncertain. Picture it: a fire crackling near the edge of a cold black sea. No cities, no satellites, no maps, just the endless water stretching into darkness.

That sounds terrifying. Jesus. I know. I’m actually scared. The beginning of these mermaid stories are not like the princesses. But somewhere out there in the darkness, something moves. People have always imagined something living out at the boundary. Not fully human, not fully animal, something that watches back. And that is where the mermaid is born, not in fantasy but in the human need to explain what we cannot fully see.

It’s also, you know, you’re seeing things. Like if you’ve ever been on a ship or a cruise ship, it’s terrifying out there. Pitch black, and you can even start imagining you’re seeing things. You ever walked around your house at like 2:00 a.m. and all the lights are off and you’re like, “Yeah, some thing’s there.” Game over. Like, I’m just going to piss the bed. Actually, you know what’s the worst thing? When all the lights are off and you’re a little tipsy. My biggest fear is not intruders. It’s not ghosts. It’s am I going to smash my toe on the coffee table or not.

The earliest versions of mermaid-like beings didn’t look like Ariel, like beautiful people laughing, dancing. This is a bombshell redhead and you’re like, “Woo.” They weren’t charming. They weren’t romantic. In ancient Mesopotamia, stories spoke of strange aquatic creatures, part human, part fish, woven into myths about gods and chaos. One early text even lists a mermaid-like being among the defeated monsters of a god’s conquest. Not a love story, a warning.

Then along the coast of ancient Syria, we meet one of the earliest true ancestors, a goddess. Her story is not light. Ashamed after a forbidden love, she throws herself into a lake and transforms into something else, half woman, half fish. Don’t you always know it’s always forbidden love? It’s always the impetus of all the story. Actually, this is a confession here. My son asked me recently how do mermaids reproduce. And I was like, “Listen, son, we’re going to have a little chat. It’s the birds and the bumblebee tunas.”

But even in transformation, she is incomplete. Already the pattern is there. The mermaid is something altered, something that has crossed a line and can’t go back. Have you seen some of the photos of early mermaid depictions? They look terrifying. They have like really the teeth. Like one of those fish they find in deep deep, like an angler fish. Those things are disgusting. Leave it to Disney to normalize it and make it into a fairy tale. I mean, Ariel’s pretty for sure. But she gets married. She does get married. I wonder if Poseidon got a dowry.

In ancient Greece, the closest thing to a mermaid wasn’t even fish-tailed. It was called sirens, bird-bodied and with a woman’s face and the voice of an angel. In Homer’s Odyssey, they don’t chase sailors. They don’t attack. They just sing. And they draw them into the rocks and the ships crash and then they murder them. What if that was actually the song they were singing? They’re like, “She wants to be where the people are. We got to go get her.” I dare Christopher Nolan, if he’s listening, to put a little siren in there. There has to be a siren something. It’s part of the Odyssey. It’s part of the story.

Odysseus survives only by being tied to the mast, screaming to be released as the song pulls him in. So if you haven’t read Homer’s The Odyssey, you should. It’s amazing. It’s written in ancient Greek, so it’s not a Dr. Seuss book. It’s a difficult read. It’s not like Harry Potter 2. But it’s fascinating. So he commanded his crew to tie him to the mast and then he had them plug all their ears with wax. He was like, “Until we get past, I’m ordering you to disregard everything I say. I don’t give a what I say, you leave me tied up.” Because he wanted to be able to hear them. And he was freaking out.

There’s also another fantastic movie. If you haven’t seen it, it’s called O Brother, Where Art Thou? With George Clooney. It’s phenomenal. The Soggy Bottom Boys. So that movie is actually based off the Odyssey. You remember the sirens? When they’re by the lake, the chicks are washing clothes and they’re super hot. And they’re getting the massage. Those are the sirens. And remember Big Dan? He’s the Cyclops because he’s got one eye. It’s a modern take on the Odyssey. It’s a phenomenal movie.

So in the story of the Odyssey, it’s the first real clue that we have documented about mermaids, and it’s that they don’t always drag you under. Sometimes you go willingly because you’re lured. You’re mesmerized. By the Middle Ages, the mermaid finally takes a form that we recognize today, which was that the woman was above and the fish was below. She appears in religious texts as a symbol of temptation, vanity, sin, beauty that leads men to ruin. Classic mermaid tales. It’s like they’ve all been mermaids this whole time.

It’s often that the mermaids are shown holding a mirror, watching, waiting. But outside of the church, in smaller villages along the coast, the stories began to change and even get bigger. The mermaids became quieter in the later versions. They became stranger. In 1403, after a violent storm in the Netherlands near a dam, villagers reportedly found a mermaid tangled in flood debris. But instead of escaping, she stayed. She’s part of the village now, boys.

Apparently she lived with them for years. This is the Disney story. She wore clothes, learned to spin thread, ate with them. What happened to her bottom half? She became a seamstress. She moved through routines like she was trying to understand what it meant to be a human. But in all that time, she never spoke. She never fully connected. Some say that she was baptized. Just imagine that. No, just don’t breathe the holy water, please. Imagine that for a second. A creature is found tangled in the sea, fully silent, top half of their body, sitting silently in a house.

But she sits silently in a house copying human life, but never speaking and never fully becoming part of it. Not really a monster, not really magical, because she has no powers. She actually is debilitated. Technically speaking, she’s a handicap. It’s like Stephen Hawking as a fish. But also it’s weird how I can’t imagine being so trusting. You find some weird creature and you’re like, “Just bring it back,” instead of shooting it on sight, just instantly executing her. Or you haven’t spoken to other humans in like two decades, so you’re like, “I need a friend. You’ll do.”

In Ireland and Scotland, the stories became something else entirely. Not horror, not temptation, but loss. In these stories, a man finds a seawoman, often by stealing a magical cloak or skin that allows her to return to the ocean. Without it, she’s trapped. She might stay for years. I’m sorry, “Oh, I can’t go back to the ocean without my magical skin.” The only thing that mirrors the earlier story is that it’s this creature wanting to live a full human life. And also so far they’re women. Why are they all women? I mean, nobody wants a bunch of mermen.

Water is the essence of beauty, but it’s never permanent in the stories because the sea never forgets. Eventually she finds what was taken, and when she does, she leaves. No hesitation, no looking back, because she knows she was never meant to stay with the humans. It reminds me of a kids movie I watched with my daughter, it’s called Luca. It’s in Italy. Luca is a merman. When they come out of the water they look like humans, but if he gets wet at all his skin turns back. They’re told, “Never, they’ll kill you.”

Wasn’t there also another movie, Splash? Remember that girl, Daryl Hannah? Tom Hanks. A young Tom Hanks. Same thing. She’s walking down the street, some car passes by, splash water. But I do find it quite interesting, especially in the lore, that they’re all chicks. It’s so much more acceptable. If some alien was there and it’s a dude, you’re like, “Murder.” But it’s a chick and she’s kind of got good proportions, you’re like, “Should we kill her? You can come home with me.” Like she’s trying to learn about us. We can save her.

So I pulled out some other stories, some of the bigger stories about mermaids. Fast forward a little bit to the 1400s during the age of exploration. We were on the ocean, humanity, we were on the water. Exploration was, let’s be honest, we were cruising the oceans. Endless water, endless sky, months at sea, only dudes. You know what I mean? I could create some truth. No internet. No papyrus. Nothing. You’re like, “What would be the playboy of papyrus time?” “You see that sketch my guy made? You would not believe what he sketched out for me. You ever see the curvature on this broad? Look at those hips.”

Things began to appear in stories for sailors and for people who were exploring, including, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of this guy, Christopher Columbus recorded in his journals seeing mermaids in 1493. Allegedly. Yeah, as he was raping and pillaging an entire civilization. No big deal. “You guys see that over there? Give me your land.” But what stands out is what he said next. They weren’t beautiful as he had expected the mermaid tails to be. They were rough, strange, and not quite human.

Today historians think he saw a manatee. He was like, “It was just,” that’s a far way from a mermaid. It looked like a giant pillow with fins. I don’t think a lot of people know what a manatee looks like. Basically there’s a lot of them around here. We call them sea cows. And you’ll go to these springs and rivers and literally the manatee will swim right by you. They’re huge. They’re massive. As big as us. Bigger. I swam with a couple of them in Rainbow River and they’re super chill and they’re slow. If I saw that, I would be like, “Yeah, not afraid of you.”

Could you, if there was a real cute one? No. Hell no. I’m not saying could you, I’m saying could you confuse me? No. It’s a giant swimming potato. But if you were on a ship for like six years with just a bunch of bros, or you’re sailing across the ocean, things get real tight. You see this little potato thing coming swimming along. Because if you’re tired, isolated, staring into the waves for weeks and something rises from the water that almost looks human, maybe your imagination or your brain would fill the rest.

I was just thinking that you’re not going to find a manatee in the middle of the ocean. No. If you see one it’s like, “Oh, it’s Lizzo.” It doesn’t look like a person. There’s no mistaking it. It’s actually a good description as a sea cow. If it had long red hair, then I’d be like, “She thick. Thick mermaid right there. She could get it.”

Not long afterwards, a man by the name of John Smith. Do you remember John Smith? John Smith was one of the people who settled. Pocahontas. The only good, I’ll just think about Pocahontas. She’s bad. She can get it. By the way, we should do an episode on Pocahontas. A lot of it is fake. A lot of her whole story is fake. Didn’t I send you the Trump talking to this guy about Pocahontas? It’s hilarious.

So moving forward, the famous John Smith of Pocahontas lore, in northeast America, the colonies at the time, he described seeing a mermaid near Newfoundland, but his account was different. He didn’t sound skeptical. He sounded drawn in, like he was captivated. More the siren thing. He described long hair, graceful movement, something undeniably human in the way that she looked at him. There was like an intelligence in the eye. She popped up and eyeballed him. And then she vanished. No attack, no danger, just a moment that felt like it could have been real. Were these people on shrooms? Opium? I mean, it makes sense. John Smith, he was with everybody, like peyote.

In Scotland, stories tell of a seawoman captured by fishermen. She didn’t try to escape. She stayed. She ate. She made sounds. She allowed people to observe her. And the longer she remained, the stranger it became, because at some point she stopped asking what she is and started asking why she isn’t leaving. A lot of these come from campfire songs and little myths, drunked-out sailors. “There once was a lass that we met on the cast of the ship, and the sailed in the sea ran into the sea cow, and I was captivated by the shells that were covering her large titties.” I might remix that. I’m definitely going to take that to AI.

In Cornwall, in a village called Zennor, there’s a story that feels more like a warning. A mysterious woman begins attending church, and she’s like a normal woman. Beautiful, shapeshifter, silent, watching one man specifically and closely. Then one day, the man and the woman disappear. And that’s literally the entire story. But that story was passed down through generations, that a mermaid came, disguised herself, and snatched somebody. I love how they only take one dude and that’s it and they just leave the town. We don’t need more than one.

By the 1800s, something changed again in the stories. People stopped just telling stories. They started to try to prove mermaids. So then along came P.T. Barnum, the circus. He’s like, “I need to find some freak show.” And P.T. had a display, and it displayed the Fiji Mermaid. Crowds came expecting beauty. They’re like, “Yes, I’m gonna go. How much does it cost me?” A little peep show. But what they got was something grotesque. It was a stitched-together display of human and animal parts.

But it became a spectacle and a thing, and like you can’t look away. There was a whole time where there was the big thing, like the freak show, and there’s always the bearded lady and the lizard man. That was all him, the P.T. Barnum. Pretty much, yeah, before they had human rights laws. Their modus operandi was shock and awe. The lizard man and he’s got scales. There’s a super strong Russian guy. Can you imagine back in the day there’s no TV? You’re like, “Hell yeah, I want to see this.” It’s like the first pay-per-view. P.T. Barnum was like Jake Paul.

Or what was Rogan’s show before? Fear Factor. Like, “Oh, snakes, we’re going to watch you eat human.” What’s crazy is he did that for like 15 years. He’s like, “This is what I got.” It would actually be great to sit down with him one day and ask him about the Fear Factor time. Like, did he hate himself or did he love it? He was getting paid a lot of money. He was like, “You paid like 3 million a season and I did 30 seasons. It’s syndicated.” That’s pretty cool.

Would you do that? Hell yeah. I would do it for like 300k. It’d be way worse. I’d be like a bum fights host. Although one thing I don’t think I would do are those reality shows. Like Big Brother and Bachelor or Real World. I would never do that. I thought you were talking about Survivor. Oh yeah, maybe I’d do that. That sounds more cool because it’s not about who are you boning in a fake house with cameras everywhere. You know what was actually pretty cool is Beast Games. It’s on Prime. He did a good job. We’re not the demographic. Good for Jimmy. He’s crushing.

In Japan, mermaid mummies began appearing. Small preserved figures that look disturbingly human but not human at the same time. But how do you come across a mummy? Wash up on shore? But modern analyses say that they were constructed then mummified, to make it look more legit. This reminds me of, you remember that Mexican government that found the tiny alien? That was a great time to be alive. Especially because the government’s taking it and the video quality is so ass. You’re like, “This is the best you have to offer.” I might go and say that that was the start of the golden age of conspiracies.

So the Japanese mermaid mummies, they were crafted. It would be like papier-mache. Some creepy person, maybe like a Jeffrey Dahmer kind of, doing some Frankenstein, and then a thousand years go by and they would go, “Oh my god, we found a mermaid.” But that didn’t stop people from treating them as sacred, not curiosities, but relics of Japan. But if you were a forensic person, you’d be like, “Okay, this is a rat.” He grave dug, took a rat and glued it and wrapped it in some teepee. What was the rat’s name from Ninja Turtles? Master Splinter. “This is Splinter here.” Origin story. “They tried to make me a mummy. I refused.”

Now we fast forward a lot. At this point, Hans Christian Andersen made The Little Mermaid. Suddenly the creature wasn’t just dangerous, she was tragic. But this is when it fully shifted to a beautiful young woman who was tragic, not hunting somebody. That movie also incorporates multiple conspiracies. They’re like in Atlantis. And this mermaid. Do you know the prince’s name? Eric. Chad. He’s very unlikable. He’s like the hero. Pretty sure he cheated on the little mermaid with the octopus lady. But I think unknowingly. He was confused. He was drunk. It was a mistake. It’ll never happen again. I promise.

So Ariel was depicted as tragic. She wanted something she couldn’t have. Literally there’s a song. I want to be where the people are. That’s like what she had. She gave it up for literally just seeing a guy because she loved him. The first dude she’s ever seen. It’s like Romeo and Juliet mixed with mermaid tail. But then she becomes seawoman at the end, which I don’t know how they did that. Magic. All of it is magic. Triton says, “Fine, daughter, go be happy.” And apparently he could have done it the whole time. They all could be humans. But he’s got a monopoly on the sea. So why would he do that?

And then moving forward from that beautiful story, in 2009 in a coastal town in Israel, multiple people claimed to see a mermaid-like figure at sunset. I wanted to bring this story up because it’s closer to now. And it’s post-Disney and these stories are still happening. Have you seen the videos of the dudes that are on those ships out in the middle of nowhere at night? Every time you see them, they always have that intense sea music. And it’s obviously hard to see because it’s literally pitch black. And there’s stuff swimming but you can’t really tell. So it’s kind of sketch. Freaks me out.

So in this story, the mermaid was sitting on rocks. I don’t think we’re worried about the pronouns of a foreign creature. We’re gender neutral here, guys. I don’t want to get cancelled. We’re talking about mermaids. It’s like a different species. So the town even offered a reward to catch the mermaid. It became a frenzy. But no proof ever came. That’s the story, in 2009. I mean, no wonder the mermaids don’t come to Florida. They’ll just get shot on sight. You think that’s why? Just going to get shot instantly. There’s going to be no questioning.

What if they morphed into the manatees? Well, manatees are protected species, so we can’t touch them. So that would be a smart play if they morph into the manatees. Maybe they’re smarter than we think. Maybe all manatees are just mermaids in hiding. Maybe they just let it slip and ate too many plankton. First of all, they’re vegetarian. They only, I don’t know how they get so big when they’re just eating lettuce. That’s wild. They should go on the carnivore diet.

So the question is what mermaids really are, or sirens. They’ve never been just one thing. They are what sailors thought they saw, what lonely people imagined, what storytellers like us on a campfire telling that riveting story made it. And we kind of like the stories and we want to believe the stories. So they keep persisting. Most of the stories depict them as, I don’t know about evil, but they’re trying to harm you. They’re doing something nefarious. They’re not like, “Oh, we love you.” They pull you in, crash, blah blah blah.

Also, do you remember the Peter Pan ones? Yeah, they were bad. I watched that the other day because my daughter loves that movie. And when Wendy goes and she’s trying to get Peter, those mermaids are mean. They’re pulling her hair, pulling her dress, splashing water on her, laughing at her. “Wendy, you stupid.” Real housewives. Dude, they’re worse. And then Peter comes, “Oh, hi Peter, we’re not doing anything.” And Peter’s oblivious. He’s like, “What’s wrong? They’re awesome. I love them.” And they’re all 12, which makes it even more crazy. Literally children were kidnapped by a 12-year-old perv who wants to be young forever. Sounds like Epstein, dude. The Lost Boys. Even being called the Lost, everything about this is weird.

So then the question becomes, are mermaids real? Who’s to say? Let’s look at a scientific, evolutionary type thing, because obviously creatures evolve. What’s the closest thing we have to human sentience in the sea? Like a dolphin. Dolphins, we know they’re very smart, communicative. They breathe oxygen, so they’re constantly coming up, but they live in the water. So what if it was some sort of dolphin-esque variant that somehow over long periods of time adapted more of a humanoid type look, to become a more superior predator? Like I develop poseable thumbs to be the elite. So maybe it’s just close enough that if it’s dusk and you’re drunk, you’re like, “What is that? Is that a chick?” It doesn’t really look like a person, but you could confuse it from a distance.

Do you think there’s been, I know this is silly, but you take X-Men, and they’re mutants. But how are they being seen since the survival rate is, they’re propagating? Real quick, so I knew a guy growing up and all his feet and his hands were webbed. Really? Yeah, and I’m not making this up. It was true. Some were more than others, different sizes. When I say webbed, skin was up, but both hands and feet, the feet were really webbed. You couldn’t get that handled, that was like surgery. Yeah, you can. Like do that immediately. Please go do that. Do yourself a favor, brother. So what you’re saying is there is some limitation.

But it would have to be such a, because obviously they’ve been seeing them for hundreds of years. It would have to be like, it couldn’t be that rare, because then they have to breed and keep that mutation alive. And the mutation would have had to gone all the way to where half the body, to where you’re just like, “Why have legs when you just have one solo fin flipper?”

How about this theory? Previous episodes we talked on aliens and, god damn it, I already know you’re like, alien pets. We’ve seen the videos of them diving into the ocean. So there’s theories that there is something down there, that they live down there, that they have some sort of base camp. Maybe they’re an aquatic species that’s like, “Let’s go troll these humans.” We don’t know what kind of bodies they have. What if they have something more similar to us, but then they somehow bred with amphibians or something?

No, the thing is, who’s to say that maybe on a water planet, there’s planets that are straight all water. Maybe that’s just what it is. There ain’t no land. So it’s all we got. I wonder if on Jorge’s theory it ties into Atlantis too. Maybe Atlantis was created by aliens in the first place. I didn’t even think about them being seafaring. They live in the ocean. We had always presumed that it was stranded above and then somehow went below, as opposed to they just built that down there. And who are we to say it wasn’t thousands of years ago? The ocean is so big you don’t even know when they come in, come out.

I do think there is something to the idea that at some point in human history there were mythical creatures, and they were either killed off. How do you define mythical? Like dragons. Things mythical, things that we don’t think are real. Giants for sure. Like if you saw an animal that we haven’t cataloged, meaning we found a new species, would that classify as mythical? No. Mythical means of myth, like there’s myths about it through history. Like Loch Ness. Exactly. There’s a myth about it. The thing is, especially with the ocean, there’s so much unknown. We’ve explored 0%.

But I take dragons as a big one, because every major culture in history has had dragons. How do they all across the entire planet think dragons are real? But they’re like, “No, they’re not real, they never were real.” They had to be real. Just a story that spread throughout generation after generation. There’s even myths that the dinosaur bones that we have are actually just dragons. They’re dragon bones. They’re trying to convince you that there were dinosaurs. For some reason they don’t want you to believe it was even a thing. How could every single culture say the same thing and then we’re like they’re all idiots? China, Japan, Rome, separate cultures across the planet. Kind of like the pyramids.

So maybe they actually were just one of these mythical creatures, and maybe we thought they were all gone and there’s just a small population of them left and people see them and they’re like, “Oh shit.” And maybe they’re still here and they’re just trying to coexist. They don’t have any reason to, they’re not amphibious, they have no reason to live on land or come to land. And maybe they stay away from ships and people. Well, maybe their whole species was killed off by people. They’re like, “Forget them.” Or maybe they live deep deep deep in the sea and they never come up. Or maybe it’s like truth or dare down there. “I dare you to go call one of them sailors.” Go sing to one. Just trust me, they’re going to love it. Show them your tits.

Well, I definitely see where the Disney story was formed. All these myths connect to that story where you go, “Oh, they’re trying to be human.” The mermaids are trying to be human and live the life. That’s what Ariel was doing. Oh wait, that’s not Disney, right? They did How to Train Your Dragon, that was different. No, that was DreamWorks. Yeah, really just stellar. So good.

So the question that I have at the end of this for you guys is, do you think mermaids are real, now and then? I personally do. I personally think that there’s a whole slew of these mythical beings that either have existed and or still do. Especially when you have things like a dragon, I can definitely see them just all getting killed off. People are afraid. Even if you think of how they made the Disney, “Oh, I want to be a human.” Why are we so conceited? They’re like, “Of course the mermaid wants to be us.” Why wouldn’t you want to be us, we’re so great? It’s just a conceited viewpoint. We don’t know everything.

I definitely believe there were giants like Jorge mentioned, that there were dragons, that there were unicorns, and not that a unicorn was magical. I think it just happened to be a horse with a horn out of its head, nothing special, just a variant of another creature, and then over time it gets magicized into something special. A dragon doesn’t necessarily have to be some fire-breathing magic creature. It could just be like a dinosaur that they were like, “Kill that thing because it eats meat.” So I think for sure that they have and do exist. The ocean is such a big place. Especially underneath, it’s like, hide anywhere. It’s really easy to hide.

Same. I’m going with my theory that they’ve been here for a long time. And some of these stories, fine, maybe they came up and a couple people saw them, but I just think it has to do with those other creatures, UAPs, UFOs, whatever you want to call it. I don’t think they brought them. Maybe it’s experimentation. Maybe that’s what they’re doing with the abductions and they go underwater. Like, “Can we splice this with?” Maybe Jorge is on to something. That’s a good theory.

I disagree fully. You’re wrong. I hate to be the complete counter of it. I think it’s super suspect that they’re all women. That is weird. True. They’re all created by lonely sailors, and the Odyssey was make believe. It’s all make believe. Was it? Here’s another thing, you chauvinist. What if in the mermaid culture the women are the warriors? They’re the marines, they’re on the front lines, and the dudes are at home giving birth. Maybe it’s like the male seahorse, the merman have the babies. Maybe. I’m going to bring this up with the mermaid union.

No, I think it explains itself, which is that these stories are from explorers, people out in the wilderness, people remote, and then they’re hallucinating and they hear things, because I’ve heard things. And it’s terrifying if it’s real. And so it then becomes also the fact that they’re without a woman. Wait, so when you heard things you just thought you were making it up? No, but I embellished it, or I make it worse than it probably is. But there is something there. It could have been a whale. You’re at sea for four months straight, shackled with a bunch of dudes, and all you’re doing is eating salted meat and rum. Of course you’re going to come up with a tale. So they just heard the whale call and they went to go jerk it.

And then you come back from your travels and you sit down with your family. “Papa, what happened?” Oh, you’re trying to make yourself look cool. “Oh, son, you wouldn’t believe it. In the darkness of night when we were sailing through the Adriatic, I heard a noise that I shall never forget. And that noise was a mermaid maiden. But she was so beautiful. She wanted me. But I loved your mother too much. Temptations. I had to decline. But her beauty gave me the power to return home to you.” You know what I mean? I get it. I can see that.

Sure, but what about the more previous sightings, what about that? Absolutely, that’s kind of how lore goes. That’s the worst brush off, “That’s how the lore goes,” in 2009, I’m just saying. That’s how conspiracies go, guys. People tell a story. The only thing I could think of is some sort of mutation, and then the mutated people were like, “Hey, let’s get together.” Build a little group. Let me give you a quick example. Would you believe that 3,000 years ago the Romans had plumbing? Like something so, if we didn’t have the definite proof of it, but they talked about it in history. You’d be like, “No, you didn’t, get out of here, 3,000 years ago you guys were wearing thongs.”

It’s a great point. It reminds me of Santa Claus. No, I don’t have evidence Santa Claus does not exist. No, but this is in present time. Didn’t we already do Santa Claus? No, but Eric, I’m giving you a point of something that sounds like proven fact but it sounds illogical. Like how could they have had that technology 3,000 years ago, something way too advanced for them to have theoretically, i.e. pyramids. But there’s no, they didn’t, there was no through the history, “Oh yeah, we built this.” We do have evidence of the plumbing. We do have evidence of the pyramids. That’s why you believe in it, because you can see it. But to Sean’s point, if you couldn’t, but they talked about it a bunch.

That’s what I’m saying, a lot of people are talking about it. It’s the whole back to the dragon thing. Everyone says it. Every single one says it but they’re like, “Well, there’s no proof, so they’re full of.” That’s how lore goes. Every country, every major civilization in the history of mankind has said there’s been dragons. The only way I could answer it is it’s suspect. It is sus. But that’s all I got. I was just trying to defeat the “that’s how lore goes” comment. Well, that’s how lore goes.

All right, well, we established that mermaids are not real. We’re definitive. We’re all in agreement here. Court adjourned. I know Eric has one-third of the vote and it’s, yep, that’s 100%. I do like the manatee theory. They were like, “What the is that? Whoa.” And then it just looked real, “Hold on, I’ll be right back, I’m going to go get me some of that. See what that be like.” But that manatee just suffocated the out of me. Oh, hell yeah.

There you go, guys. That’s mermaids, sirens. I do believe they heard something. I’m just saying it’s probably a species that we don’t know about. A species we don’t know about. Weird. I wonder what that could be, what we just talked about. I wonder if that could be the species that we don’t know about. The mermaid. They’re even called mermaids. Because a maiden’s a woman. And they just had to make up something. What should they be called, Eric? Sea dwellers. The sea people. The webbed community. The sea men.

You guys let us know what we missed, which is probably a lot. There’s a lot more anecdotal stories. It’s cool to have you guys comment and tell us what we missed, and we always do an update episode if we have to. I almost feel like we should purposely leave stuff out just to get your engagement. Also, a little tip, if you want to comment about something that we did miss, maybe don’t do it as a personal attack. We do get people who take it personally. We’re not claiming to be hardcore journalism here. We’re just trying to hang out and have fun and bring you guys some good content.

I mean, look how many we’ve solved. A lot, dude. Pyramids. Tupac. Wait, pyramids? In your mind. I’m so confident about the pyramids, it’s crazy. Everyone thinks they’re crazy. Ingenuity of man. Oh, we also did Jack the Ripper. Honestly, solved. Legit solved. If you guys were wondering how legit we are, we release episodes and then some of them we’ve got right, and evidence will come out later. We’re like precogs. Actually our percentage is about like 3%, so it’s pretty low. Better than zero for a conspiracy.