Hey guys, welcome back to the Conspiracy Podcast. Again. What up? What’s up everybody? Uh, so I’m Eric. I’m Sean, what’s up guys. This is Jorge, and we’re back for another episode. We are the henus. Is over baby, over. We’re going to come out you with back, back to back to back, back back. So much content. Oh my God, content King. Yeah, it’s going to be crazy. Oh my God.

You’re, although, although somebody said to us that the only way that we could step up a level is if we do two a week. Yeah, I’d like to get there one day. No, no, trust me, we would. You do a Monday Friday or no? We would Tuesday Thursday or something. We would do two a week if we, if we didn’t have to work our other jobs. Like yeah, like if they paid us. Yeah, if we had enough Patreon members that like we could do this full time, we’d be doing it. Hint hint. We’d been more Patreon. Yeah, pump up the pat.

Okay, so this episode we are doing the Loch Ness Monster. Oh yeah, this is the classic, the old old, the original conspiracy. I mean you say top, top noin top. Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, those, those two. It’s kind of in there though, top 10. Yeah. Anyways, uh, you know, Loch Ness Monster. Okay, where is Loch Ness? That’s a great question. Loch Ness located in the Scottish Highlands. God, we got to go there. It has the largest volume of fresh water in Great Britain. We have to take a, we have to take out like a podcast, like a research tour, research event.

What if we did live podcast from the, the shores of Loch, shores of Loch Ness? That would be so rad. That’d be sick as [ __ ]. The wind is whipping, they’re like, what are you saying? Like we’re here and Loch Ness, that’d be fun. Okay, so this body of water, and what’s wild about Loch Ness is that it is abnormally deep. How deep? 800 feet deep. Holy [ __ ]. But it’s very narrow. I know, which is weird. Yeah, maybe like an asteroid hit it or something.

You know how long it is? It’s 23 miles. Wow. What? Yeah. Okay, 23 miles long, but it’s very narrow, but it’s super deep. How did it get so deep? I know. Well, Ice Age science [ __ ] history. Loch this m still. I mean Project Blue Beam did a couple earthquakes. I know, right? Exactly. It’s actually a projection of the deepness. It takes its name from a nearby river which is called Inverness. So it’s Loch Ness. Okay, so it’s right next. So it is very cold, very cold. The water’s average temperature is about 40°. Jesus [ __ ]. That’s Fahrenheit.

And so for our friends in Europe, yeah, uh, everybody else in the world, 3° C. It’s 5° C. That was close. That was pretty good guess. Thank you. And just to make sure we’re all on the same page here, when we say the word lock, lock means lake in Scot, in Scotland. I knew it. So it’s Loch Ness. So it’s like the lake of the river Ness. That’s right. So Lake Erie it would be Lo, lock, lock Erie. Lo, yeah. And that’s it, that’s really all it means, right.

Uh, scholars of Loch Ness Monster find dozens of references to Nessie in Scottish history, and that’s Messi, that’s Nessie. So this is dating back all the way to AD 500. Oh wow. When local Picts, and their names are Picts, P-I-T-S, these are ancient people that lived in Northern Scotland around the time of the Roman Empire, like fishing, they’re there. Yeah, like, you know, catching some fish, very basic folks, very basic folks. But they, they were the ones who drew creatures on the stones in caves and that sort of thing.

Okay, they, it was actually probably a ploy to get, they’re like girl, you can’t go, you can’t go to that Loch Ness, they going to get you, you got to come to me for protection. Look, I join in the cave, come hang out on this. They say I got the fire. Oh, I got, I got fish, get your ass, get over here girl. The earliest written reference to a monster in Loch Ness is 7th century biography of St Columba. And St Columba was an Irish missionary who introduced Christianity to Scotland.

So in 565, according to his biographer, St Columba was on his way to visit the king of Northern Picts near Inverness when he stopped at Loch Ness. He was traveling through Scotland when he came across a group of people burying a man. When he asked what happened, they claimed that the man tried to cross the river, and it was nearby at the river in Inverness, he tried to cross the river and was attacked by a monstrous water beast. Curious, how did they get his body? You know this, I don’t know. He washed up ashore. Curious.

Columba asked one of his followers to try swimming across. Monster, the monster killed him. Swim across, let’s do this for me, you’re one of my fellows, God’s got your back. Yes, just go swim across that leg, God will protect you, trust me, I’m, I’m, wait wait, no no, do it in a Scottish accent. Swim, oh one second, hold, swim across the lake. I don’t know, that’s, that’s like Irish. Yeah, well he was an Irish missionary, so that. Look here, trust me, God got your back, ya man.

Uh, so Columba asked one of his followers to swim across. What a dick. One of his followers like, I’ll do it, I’ll do it for you. A monster approached him, but Columba stepped forward and, making the sign of the cross, said, oh my God I’m sorry, he made the sign of the cross and said, go no further, do not touch the man, go back at once. And the monster, the beast, the beast receded, and the beast receded. Oh my God. The monster fled. I love how his homie is like swimming, he’s like 100 yards in, he’s tired of [ __ ].

Monster is like, live, be all, he has to do is make, let cross his two fingers from 100 yards away and the beast, the beast knows that. Yeah, although I don’t know if he just did his fingers, all he did, maybe he made, you just added that. All, all I know is that in the fairy tale, oh not the, it’s the biography, the fairy tale, it is a [ __ ] fairy tale. The biography of him says he, he uh made the sign of the cross, the sign of the cross. So he could have been like that, he could have been like that, he could have been like this, yeah, we don’t know.

My thing is like, this is this, whoever wrote this biography was on the take. I mean this is ridiculous, like literally the most unfactual thing that’s ever happened. So that was in AD 565, there weren’t really any other sightings until like the 1800s. 20 buck, 20 buck says if there was a monster his homie got killed and he was like, yeah, we’re going to make this about God, trust me. Hot in 1933, we’re going to jump forward, I, 2400 years, yeah, no big deal. Well, not 2400 cuz this was AD, I’m sorry, yeah, sorry about that, sorry about that, getting late here, it’s like 1300 years, 1300 years later. Tit for tat. Thank, thank, I was waiting. God, I haven’t heard a tit for tat in so long. It’s been, it’s been a few episodes, I, I needed that.

So in 1933 a new road was constructed along the Loch Ness shore. This made it so people can get there now. Okay, okay, in like the Highlands, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, man. So on May 2nd 1933 the Inverness Courier, which is a newspaper apparently, yeah, reported that a local couple claimed to have seen an enormous animal rolling and plunging on the surface. And the story of Loch Ness Monster became a phenomenon, with London newspapers sending correspondents to Scotland and a circus offering 20,000 reward for capture of the beast.

After 1933 the sightings increased, the interest increased. Another couple claimed to have seen the beast on land crossing the shore road. British newspapers sent reporters there, Daily Mail went there, they hired a big game hunter named Marmaduke to capture the beast. Mar, I mean wild, you know what I mean. After a few days searching the lock, uh, Marmaduke reported finding footprints of large four-legged animal. I think it’s funny because like that’s what always happens, there’s a little intrigue and everyone’s like, I seen it, oh I, I seen the monster, he was on, show, I, I seen the monster.

Even, even with not [ __ ] like this, but like we talked about, uh, we did episode on DB Cooper and it’s like, oh yeah I seen him here, I’ve seen him there, it’s like it pops up everyone on their death bed, I’m DB Cooper, they’re like, you’re, you’re a black woman, what are you talking about, I am DB Cooper, you guys got the story wrong, you were mistaken, I, I was wearing a costume. In response to Marmaduke claims of finding footprints of a large four-legged animal, the Daily Mail carried the dramatic headline, all in capital letters, Monster of Loch Ness is not legend but a fact. Oh, we have, we have no actual information. Fact, proven, fake news [ __ ] it, who cares, sell on papers.

Scores of tourists descended on Loch Ness and sat in the boats or deck chairs waiting for an appearance of the beast, of boats, and like, of course never showed up. Also it’s a she. Oh [ __ ], how do they know? Nessie. I mean like, I don’t know, like don’t they call, I mean it’s, it’s each of their own, if you think it’s a guy. Well I thought it was a guy. What about Lionel Messi? Yeah, Messi, Messi, Messi, Messi’s a dude, the goat, the, he is the goat, Jesus Christ.

So they even put plaster cast of footprints that they, they found, you know, they put the plaster of Paris and they sent it back to the National History Museum. They reported that they were hippopotamus tracks. I saw a giant thing, huge, you know, yeah. Then we come to the surgeon’s photograph and it is the most famous Loch Ness Monster photograph. I mean see this, but in the grand scheme it’s like, you take this picture that doesn’t look big at all. No, but how far away were they, scale, I know, the scale is the problem, yeah yeah, cuz it looks like it literally looks like a bird.

It looks like a, like a tiny, like a tiny like one of those ducks that like likes to dive in and has a long ass neck. It’s either that or like I told Eric, it’s like it’s a dude with a sock on his hand, he’s like he’s literally going like. So we’re going to post this on pretty much everything, we’ll spam, no we’ll post a photo, but it’s called the, the surgeon, it’s called the surgeon’s photograph of 1930. So the surgeon’s photograph is reportedly the first photo of the creature’s head and neck, and it supposedly was taken by Robert Ken Wilson, a London gynecologist, of course.

I love how that the head, like if that’s an actual picture his head is smaller than his neck, which is weird, I know, it’s a really creepy animal, it’s like scary, it’s like a worm with a bigger butt. It was published in the Daily Mail in 1934, but Wilson refused to have his name associated with it because he knew it was [ __ ]. So it was then known as the surgeon’s photograph, even though he was a gynecologist, he’s going, it’s going to [ __ ], it’s going to [ __ ] up my practice, yes, spread your legs.

According of course, here comes, here comes Nessie, I am the monster, you have a yeast infection, let the lock monster take care of that for you, don’t worry about this sweetheart, your insurance, your insurance is going to cover this. So according to Wilson, he was looking at the lock when he saw the monster, he grabbed his camera, snapped four photos, only two exposures came out clearly. The first reportedly shows a small head and back, the second shows a similar head in a diving position. So this is the first one, the first photo became well known, the second attracted little publicity because it was blurry.

Yeah well yeah, he’s also taking this on like [ __ ] ancient [ __ ]. So that’s the non blurry one, yeah, I was going to ask you, so so that’s the back cuz it kind of, you can think that it’s like part of the wave or part of, you know, the water there, okay yeah. So for 60 years the photo was considered evidence. I wish this was like evidence, like, see I told you I’m rich, look at this, this is my bank account. Skeptics though say it’s, it could be driftwood, it could be an elephant underwater, it could be, could be an elephant, it could be an otter, it could be a bird, it could be an elephant.

One of, one of the biggest problems is the scale, yeah, the scale is so off, and it’s often uh cropped to make it seem larger than it really is, yeah, cuz I mean even if this was like max zoom it just doesn’t look like it’d be that big. While the uncropped shot shows the other end of the lock and the monster in the center, the ripples in the photo were found to fit the size and pattern of a small ripples rather than the big waves when it’s close up, that make sense, yeah. So pretty much equating that it’s a small thing coming out of the water, yeah, because the ripple pattern, yeah.

An analysis, an analysis in 1993 the Discovery Communications documentary about Loch Ness discovered and analyzed the photo. Their analysis said the full photograph indicated that the object was small, only about 90 cm long. So the Loch is like a slug, tiny, what the [ __ ] is that. So since then, since 93 94, most agreed that the photo was either a hoax or it was an animal, but then they play, they played it off as, you know, it’s like a goose or something, [ __ ] chilling, swan, yeah yeah.

There’s a whole story about how uh Marmaduke didn’t want to, you know, he tried to scam the newspaper and the newspaper tried to scam Marmaduke, he was the hunter, I mean the fact that his name, original paparazzi or something, Marmaduke I know. And there’s, there’s even, it goes even as far as they put a toy in the water, took a photo of it and they made it seem like they caught it. So then they tried to get the, the be, rubber ducky and like scaled it down, he’s like I can’t transport it till I have full payment.

So uh, you know, since 1934 there’s been amateur investigators uh constantly trying to research, university sent out teams, expeditions to Loch Ness using sonar to search the deep, uh, but nothing really conclusive has been found. Okay, in 1975 Boston’s Academy of Applied Science combined sonar and an underwater photography in an expedition to Loch Ness. A photo resulted, after enhancement, appeared to show the giant flipper of a plesiosaur like creature. Is a plesiosaur, plesiosaur is, you could look it up, it’s an old dinosaur that kind of looks like Loch Ness platus, it kind of looks like Nessie, it’s like a, a swimming dinosaur.

You’re, you’re, oh wow, that’s like, yeah that’s like some [ __ ], see what I mean, Jurassic World [ __ ], oh yeah, oh yeah, those with the the fins, yeah, it’s kind of like a mix of like, I don’t know, a whale shark, long ass neck, with, isn’t a sharp teeth, it’s like a raptor, like a raptor head and then like a seal, giant seal body, yeah there you go. So that was one theory, was that it was a dinosaur that survived, oh okay I can get behind that, yeah okay.

A couple of things against that theory is that apparently Loch Ness was frozen solid during the most recent Ice Age. How the [ __ ] do they know that, you know, yeah, well science, I mean they’re like, well we the so samples, base, so samples, switch samples, and pretty much science, frozen, yeah, science. So they were saying in the past 10,000 years it was frozen and so the plesiosaur, plesiosaur couldn’t survive. I love how that, hell no, I love how that science, so like, well the last 10,000 years this what happened, that we weren’t there for it, yeah.

Additionally, 40°, okay it’s already cold AF, it’s cold as [ __ ], and it’s fresh water, and well I mean but granted like there are creatures that live like, you know, two, two to 4,000 ft underwater and it’s [ __ ] freezing death cold down there. The other theory is, is that it’s, I kind of like a whale, oh yeah, with a serpent kite, like maybe like a, like whale like abnormality, yeah, I mean like you see a human and there’s like one dude 79 and you’re like, and you’re like this guy a [ __ ] alien, that abnormal, yeah, so maybe it’s a whale with a really long neck, it’s possible, yeah it’s totally possible, like a, like a narwhal, just one, you know, maybe, maybe he’s like an incest, that’s a great point, was like an inc, an incest, bro, several.

There was a study done on, on uh survival and how many people or how many un, like how many, let’s just say humans, how many humans do you need to survive as humanity, oh like how many to in order to repopulate it, yeah, how many, yeah, what do you think, what’s the guess, what’s the minimum, uh, minimum is probably without inbred uh getting all weird, 10,000, no I was to say way less, it’s 30, oh 30, I was going to say like 500, I don’t know, without inbreeding, yeah, well there’s still going to be some but not like a lot, but based on 30, 30 is the minimum you would need to survive.

You’re not that much of my cousin, it’s okay, you’re a little weird but like you can still talk, like say, say we had an apocalyptic situation, all you need is 30 [ __ ], like, and say we went to 29, oh, over, dude that’d be kind of tight to be part of that 30, no, I’m going to say 30 is the minimum for, for a species to continue, I mean barring in theory without, without like us putting them in a zoo and going bang, do you know what I mean, yeah, like where there’s like six bald eagles left and we just got to do it, I mean barring, barring that like, you know, everyone was like, dude pretty solid, part 30, I like where is he going with this, I love to repopulate the planet, let’s go, let’s go, let’s [ __ ] go.

So the theory with that though is that there must, there can’t just be one, yeah, they can, for hundreds of years they can only be one, you know what I mean, the quickening, so there you go, that’s the, I want to do the math on that, 15 dudes 15 chicks, so they all have, no because you, as far as what, like the do watch, no but you have to get, you’d have to get super sketch with like the breeding patterns to make it go, totally, it really, it’d be really nefar, it’d be super nefarious, like so that’s, okay so you’re like, that’s the bare minim, the minimum to survive, yeah, cuz it’s like you’re homie kid, you’re like, I’ve got a breed with her, weird, it’s super sketch but she got ass so like, you know, she not really my, my cousin, no.

But the point is though that you have to throw out like civilized, civilized concepts, yeah yeah, so you go okay there’s 15 men 15 women or male female, yeah, and you’re not, you’re not tied to one, no, and then you switch, and then you’re switch it all 15, all, all 15 create maybe three, and then you’re 4, 5 plus 60 or 30, and, and it keeps, you know, it’s exponential there, yeah, and then you’re not really in breeding, is, is is, it’s super is, like super is. So the other theories, the other, the other theories about Loch Ness is uh otter, that it was just otter, like a, oh a long ass, I don’t know if you’ve seen otter, have you been and seen like a lot of them, I about the zoo, they’re uh slathered, oh they’re slippery, they’re slippery little, they don’t have a long neck, long neck like that may, that could be fake, but maybe he like body out like.

Just so we’re all clear, this doesn’t have to be lock, the Nessie right there, that doesn’t have to be, you know, yeah, they could have just been like jumping out the water like, yeah yeah, okay yeah. General belief of the sightings are misidentifications, meaning either of all the animals that we’re talking about, or like driftwood etc, uh, just not a, I just want say weird, like, so you know in my neighborhood like the neighbor you used to live in, yeah, they have like otter crossing signs, yeah dude, me and Tay were out there, we saw otter bro, really, dude it was, it was the weirdest, it was the, this [ __ ] thing was moving so fast like across the grass and we’re like, what the [ __ ], it, it was an otter, it was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.

It literally, I thought it was an alien, like I thought it was a [ __ ] alien cuz I was, oh my God what the [ __ ] is that, but it was an otter, so what crazy, it could be an otter, yeah. What’s crazy about all this is how many expeditions and how much money and research and, and they found nothing, no bones, no [ __ ] nothing. And so in 1934 Edward Mountain financed a Loch Ness search after reading uh a couple articles, 20 men with binoculars and cameras position themselves around the lock for five weeks, Jesus Christ, I think to say for like five days, five weeks, five weeks.

Despite them taking all these photographs in 1934, nothing was conclusive, why is it all blur, they’re all blur. One of the photographs a zoologist concluded it showed a seal, that’s kind of what it resembles, the, the, the guy’s like, he’s like dog that’s your dog, what the [ __ ], okay. So in 19, have you ever seen a seal, in 1962 there was something, there was something created called the Loch Ness Phenomenon Investigation Bureau, okay wow, also known as LNPIB, wow, also known as tax dollars hard at work, Jesus Christ.

Its aim was to study Loch Ness and identify Loch Ness Monster. It received a grant in 1962 or 67 for a two-year program of daylight watches using 35 millimeter cameras, two years of this [ __ ], this is like, God, can you imagine being tasked to this, we should do a conspiracy on the [ __ ] gross negligence of budget committees of the US government, unfortunately nothing really came of it and they were disbanded 10 years later, wow, 1972. Robert Rines and researchers conducted a sonar examination identifying a moving target in the lock. Later studies in 75 involved sonar readings and underwater photographs, and in 2001 the academy videotaped a v-shaped wake in an object resembling a carcass, the academy.

So Robert Rines concluded that it was a dinosaur and it was the carcass, oh so it died, yeah, oh so he like, oh they found like the dead body, well why didn’t they, did they, creating a V shape in the water or what, yeah, just floating, but why like a huge ton, like just imagine a dinosaur body just floating, but they didn’t grab the body, no, they’re like, they didn’t think like, hey grab a boat, hook it, just like pull it to shore, they’re like no, let it be, it, this is a Viking funeral, they shot flaming arrows at it and [ __ ] let it go.

In 1987 [ __ ] [ __ ], I know, such [ __ ], in 1987 something was created called Operation Deep Scan, and in it involved 24 boats with echo sounding equipment, sonar contact with unidentified objects raised more speculations that seals lived in the lock. It’s also like, in the grand scheme, like 800 ft really isn’t that deep, in the grand scheme, like the Mariana Trench is like three miles or four miles deep, damn right, I know, it’s like, come on. In 2003 BBC sponsored a search using 600 sonar beams in satellite tracking, it’s a lot, no substantial size animal was found, they’re like, it’s water, that’s it, it’s the only [ __ ] there [ __ ] starfish and like water, that’s it.

The BBC concluded the Loch Ness Monster was a myth. In 2018 an international team conducted a DNA survey of Loch Ness, what, finding no DNA of large fish or reptiles, uh, eel DNA was abundant, where are they getting the DNA from, the water, the study concluded there’s likely no giant scaly reptile living in lock, who said it was scaly, what if it’s a giant eel, what if it’s like, what if like the whole thing it’s like an eel with feet and it’s like, what if it’s an eel, so what, that’s more real crazy too.

And, and I didn’t include this, and the reason I didn’t include this cuz there’s so many, there’s like 30, and it’s like 30 instances of people saying I saw something weird in the water, it’s probably an eel, yeah, I saw, I saw, I saw little lumps, I, it sounds weird because you know how eels swim, like they, like they’re like almost like a snake and it can create ripples, and they’re, they’re the most hideous creatures, you’ve ever seen, they’re [ __ ] ugly as [ __ ], so I can see, like if I saw an eel, would terrify. Would they ever like come out and stick their head in their neck, seen, I’ve seen a little snake, you seen a snake like pop out, oh yeah I’ve seen that, cobras [ __ ] going, oh no, disgusting, back up bro, it’s like a serpent, like that’s what, that’s what equated to it, it’s like imagine the most hideous creature you’ve ever seen and it swims, it’s like [ __ ], it’s disgusting.

So there’s just tons every year, there’s just more and more stories, oh I saw a lump, I saw a shadow, I think saw still, I think it’s like, it’s also easy like when you’re thinking, I mean you’re at lock, no but when you’re thinking something’s there, it’s like you’re automatically, you’re, you’re tell, you’re telling yourself that something’s there, like you see that [ __ ] move, you see that thing move, I saw it, you saw it right, saw that ripple, oh my God it’s the ocean. Just so you know, if, if we went to Loch Ness and we’re like, I’m not, I don’t know, you might see it, see some [ __ ] like, did you see, we just saw Nessie, and I’d be on the shore, I would not be in a boat, max zoom on my Samsung, like you see that right there.

So here are some explanations that people have brought forward. Eels, yes, just said that, yeah, many sightings of eels in the lock, um, I’m going with eels, uh, the DNA survey that was done, hella eels, tons of eels, and maybe just maybe they were big eels, just math, could be abnormally large, no but have you seen how big eels look, eels can get big as [ __ ], I’m about to go right, you know there’s some big ass snakes and I know you know, so, and you get anomalies just way bigger than normal all of a sudden, like we talked about a 7 foot, some guy is not a normal, yeah, super out of the normal, yeah yeah.

So the biggest Conger eel ever recorded was, was 350 lb, damn, it’s huge, so European Congers have an average adult length of, of 5 ft, that, look that looks like you’re lock right there, look at him, look at this [ __ ], look at this evil [ __ ] giant monster thing, look at that [ __ ], yeah, and he just dips up, yeah, and people are like it’s a [ __ ] alien, what is this, yeah. One theory in 1979, look at that [ __ ], holy [ __ ], this is like a homie with one, like that’s disgusting dude, Jesus Christ, seen in a long time.

So another theory is in 1979, so another theory was proposed that this photograph, the surgeon’s photograph, was an elephant and the photo was taken elsewhere, oh like in like India or something and then claimed to be Loch Ness, okay, okay, I can see it’s like the elephant’s like breathing, but do elephants go fully underwater, yeah that’s a good question, probably, they’re [ __ ] 12 ft tall, like what, they go like full under, so this photo would be like the elephant just sticking up, sticking his trunk under water, yeah, because if it’s somewhere else it could be.

Elephant are able to swim quite far distances underwater by using their trunks as modified snorkel, oh wow, that’s a [ __ ] elephant, look they can swim surprisingly long distances while completely submerged, and that might just be the, they keep their trunk above water, could be the trunk, while their bodies stay just under the surface, yeah, look at this, look at this, that looks like a [ __ ] trunk, show the picture, that elephant is fully, that’s a trunk, this [ __ ] from like, this is Bollywood, we [ __ ] Bollywood, the more we say that the more I think it’s elephant, elephant talk.

I’m looking forward to the day when you’re at a bar and somebody starts talking about the Loch Ness Monster and you go, it’s an elephant, and they’re going to be like, what, that’s it, and like literally there’s videos of GoPro swimming with elephants, that’s, that’s pretty, okay I’m going with elephant, I’m going, hold on, hold on, we got, I was going with eel, we got a couple more. Okay, in 2013 the Loch Ness Monster was theorized to be a Greenland shark, no, known to inhabit the North Atlantic Ocean, biologist Bruce Wright suggested that these sharks could survive in freshwater and the lock’s abundance of salmon and other fish supported the theory, no, okay that doesn’t explain that photo, which to your point maybe that’s not, like we’re just like going, that photo, see trunks up and that’s the wave behind it, that could be like the ear right there, dude we’re [ __ ], I’m like Sherlock Holmes.

In 2015 Steve Felton theorized that the Loch Ness Monster could be an unusually large catfish, oh, most eel, catfish, they looks similar, catfish are hideous, catfish are hideous, disgusting, God, but that’s a narrow, once again we’re going back to this photo as as the like our stable thing, yeah, this is the Bible, like, well and Jesus said, this is not a catfish. So then there’s theories of, you know, other animals, deer, dude catfish get super huge, have you ever seen the, people are really big, no, the people that do like stick their hand in, they stick their hand in the holes and you catch a catfish with your arm and they’re super gross.

So a couple other things, couple other things that are not catfish, couple other things that are not catfish, couple other things that are not animal, boat wakes, some reported wakes resembling creature movements may be misinterpreted of boat wakes if the water is calm, you’re out from a certain angle, yeah, they look like little bumps, okay yeah, but most stories are about the Loch Ness Monster like sticking his head out, yeah, like a long neck or whatever, again not going based off of just this image, but me, most stories, 90% based off this image, that’s true cuz we have it right looking at it.

So the other one is trees, oh that’s true, no have you ever gone down like, you ever gone down a river like uh, you go to Zephyrhills or whatever the, like dude there’s all kinds of [ __ ] sticking out, debris of weird trees fall down, logs rising to the surface of the locks could be misinterpreted as the monster, okay, the shapes of the logs kind of resemble the description of the creature, long or, I don’t buy that, shut up. Or uh, a couple other things, optical effects, no, atmospheric refraction and wind conditions can distort the appearance of objects and animals in this, sounds like, that’s like now we’re like government cover up language, what the [ __ ], distortions of the Apex systems, last one is seismic gas, okay [ __ ] you, what, that’s worse than last.

Geological explanations propose that seismic activity such as earthquakes could cause disturbances on the lock surface, potentially, it keeps sounding more and more like Project Blue, potentially mistaken for a swimming creature, Project Loch Ness, yeah we’re going to, they’re not going to believe in God if they see this guy, they’re going, they’re going, they’re going off the deep end, chaos will ensue with the Loch Ness mon. So there you go. I mean, um, I mean this is kind of like Roswell or Area 51 where just, worse, no meaning, no the entire town is in, they’re dialed in, they’re like, I mean can you imagine going to Loch Ness and it’s just keychains, oh binoculars for $48, no but like they make the living off of it, it’s like that is actually the sole income source for this like poor little town.

It’s appar, it’s, I mean from what I see it’s really, I’d buy the binoculars for a little souvenir, oh it’s super gorgeous, binoculars from Loch Ness, yeah little souvenir glass is literally, so I don’t know, what do you, what do you, what do you make of, I mean the elephant makes most sense, literally when you look at this image and we just learned that elephants, you know they fully submerged, fully submerge, that literally looks like an elephant trunk coming out and trying to breathe and go back, I’m 100% on board with that, and why not, this looks like, I cannot not see an elephant now, all I see is elephant, and why not use that and be like, oh I found him, I photographed the Loch Ness Monster.

If you want to be that, that one person that photographed the Loch Ness Monster, you know what I’m saying, you know actually now we’re going to get super deep, it was probably Ghislaine Maxwell’s dad who won that [ __ ] London newspaper who was like, I [ __ ] photo of the elephant ass [ __ ] put in there [ __ ] it in, in elephant in it, yeah, okay it’s a good, good argument, yeah good theory, good, the, sorry I had to go deep, yeah. So what do you think, what do you think, elephant, I don’t know, I just think that guy that, I think the guy that took this picture, and I cannot unsee this picture anymore, and like this is like our stable piece of, you know, evidence, only evidence we have, yeah, so everybody agrees it for everybody else, you know, this is like, but everybody agrees that’s a hoax, no it’s a hoax because it’s a picture of an elephant, yeah exactly, that’s why it’s a hoax cuz it’s a [ __ ] elephant swimming.

You don’t believe in Nessie, if there, if there was anything I would say that, I mean cuz you know it’s possible, like think about all the animals that are deep deep in the ocean that we don’t even know about, we’re still discovering, that’s what I’m saying, I think that there’s, there’s crazy [ __ ] going on in the real ocean, but lock no, I think there’s a little possibility of something just because of that, and think about it like, you know I don’t know, like [ __ ] alligators are somehow like still part of like the dinosaurs, and okay, you know what I think, I think it’s because, but it couldn’t be one for the whole time, that’s the thing, not, not even take the AD or the the Roman time period, let’s just take the 1933 sighting, that means Nessie is 100, yeah, or 90, old AF, not possible, no, oh totally possible, turtles [ __ ] live hundreds of years and they’re useless, the most useless, oh no they’re not useless, God damn it, turtles do nothing, they’re so awesome, they do nothing.

Hundreds, the oldest turtles, the oldest turtles like Finding Nemo, how old is the oldest turtle, guess, turtles can live until their 130, dude 190 year old turtle, God damn okay, yeah, all right I’m saying but turtles provide no value to, maybe it’s like, maybe it’s like uh, you know isn’t there a comic where in Batman where like he passes the, like he gets old and then he has to turn it over to a new Batman, oh he’s like, so maybe there’s like a Loch Ness that’s, she like, I am Loch Ness, I just don’t think, I think the fact that it’s fresh water is already like a, is already, is already a dent in that, real cold, well see like all the largest creatures, all the largest sea creatures on Earth are in saltwater, it’s just the way it, whales and stuff, yeah, massive blue whales, like the biggest creatures, the biggest [ __ ] things, the most unexplored [ __ ] all saltwater.

That’s, that’s probably one of the more smarter debunks, yeah, I think the fact that basic, basic piece of, the fact that it’s fresh water, there’s not a lot of large freshwater animals, they’re, and and all fresh water comes from lakes, there, there is no, there is no freshwater ocean right, there doesn’t exist, yeah it just, it just not, it just doesn’t, they’re not there, so that’s why my thing is like I don’t think Loch come from the ocean and like swim its way there, but 90, there’s, there’s, that’s why there was only one, maybe it could walk, like the only one that made, maybe it could swim and walk, well no there’s only, there’s only two, there’s only one, what’s that one, remember the thing you sent me on TikTok, was it you sent me on TikTok, was like the the only TikToker, the only saltwater creature ever to like be able to go into into freshwater, no it’s not me, is a whole [ __ ], really, yeah, somebody sent me this [ __ ], yeah.

Any, there only like one creature ever that could, that could, that could flip, that’s like buy, yeah, because if you put any saltwater creature in fresh water vice versa they die, it was like I forget what it was, [ __ ] like sharks here in Tampa Bay that come from uh fresh water, yeah no they don’t, crazy, I think you’re, I think you’re [ __ ], what about the croc, page is an elephant, the croc is a reptile, I mean the the alligators around here they’re reptiles, they’re not sea fairing, no no no no no no, there’s crocodiles and alligators, one’s fresh water one’s salt water, but they don’t breathe under water, reptiles, it’s the whole point of a reptile, no but they still don’t live here, no I know but we’re talking about, we’re talking about, we’re, you’re right, we’re just talking about water.

Alligators prefer fresh water while crocs tend to prefer salt water or brackish water, I know but I’m just saying they don’t have gills, they don’t, they’re, they don’t breathe, well crocs have glands in their mouths that expel salt from their systems, alligators do not possess this gland, they don’t breathe but they living in that [ __ ], yeah but it’s different, it’s different, it’s different, all right I, all right I’m checking, I’m checking, that is Jorge stupid, okay I had to ask you, all right well I mean I hate to say it but this is the stupidest [ __ ] conspiracy. I kind of believe there’s something there, what, you’re just being the opposite guy, no no no, I don’t know, I don’t think it’s one thing but I bet there’s some weird [ __ ] in there.

Wait so is there one Loch Ness monster for you, no I don’t think there’s one, I think there’s many monsters, Loch Ness monsters, yeah I bet it’s like a whole [ __ ] family, yeah I think there, no in in in Loch Ness, in in in this lake, no, here’s what happened, so why do they not find them with the sonar, because it’s 24 miles long, 800 ft deep, do you know how hard is to cover that, that’s a lot, do the square, I don’t know how square that’s good point, so big, but I think Eric had it right, there was probably 30 Loch Ness monsters, and then, no there was 29, it was 15 and 14 and they were like make it, we can’t, imagine marine, they died off, they died off, yeah, they like after 100 years like [ __ ], but isn’t, is, I don’t know, to me water and oceans and these massive lakes are, are the unexplored right, well the ocean’s the unexplored, well I know but I mean this is a, there are mass, there are massive lakes like the Amazon and like all the [ __ ].

This lake was explored several times, no, yes you, we just talk about how big it is, you just went over how many, it was like, I know but it was a pin drop, they didn’t say that, 24 boats, they were like, they didn’t say how much they covered, we don’t know, that’s what I’m saying, they didn’t say, they could have covered everything, Eric’s making [ __ ] up, so you’re saying the entire Loch Ness is covered, yes, why wouldn’t they, why wouldn’t they cover the whole thing, covered, too big of a project, 24 miles that’s not that big, no it’s not, 24 miles it’s not that much, Eric you ever been on a highway that they built, hundreds and thousands of miles of highway that they built, if you’re really after looking for the Loch Ness monster you’re going to cover all 24 miles, 100%, 100 per [ __ ] think, oh we got 23, oh we’re good, [ __ ] it, let’s pack it up, pack it up, miles, pocket the cash, we, we ran out of funding, no they didn’t, they kept getting more, yeah that’s right.

All right, all right, I mean it is farfetched, I think that Eric is just, Eric is just trying to be opposite man, no I think it’s cool that, if I think it’s a cool one, I think it’s cool, it actually, if you guys think this is cool wait until we get to Bigfoot, no it would be sick if like we actually went there one, like let’s say two years from now, like we go Loch Ness, we’re just like having some brews and we see something honestly, and then, and then Eric’s going to take a [ __ ] picture on his like iPhone 20, and then the whole thing, whole, cuz Eric’s whole debunk with [ __ ] UFOs don’t exist because there’s not like a 4K [ __ ] video of it, and Eric’s going to take a [ __ ] picture of Loch Ness that we all believe, and he’s like, but no it’s real, and then I’m going to be like, I didn’t see anything, and I’m going to make Eric so wrong, I’m going to make Eric feel like he’s crazy.

I like the idea of this story, I do, I guess, I guess you’re right though, there’s nothing to nothing to back it up, I love it, it’s so cool, I do love, FID who alls, but like seems unreasonable, that’s a [ __ ] elephant, I know seems unreasonable, yes it just looks like an elephant trunk now, yeah it’s just like, that’s true. All right well what do you guys think, we want to know what everybody thinks, we’re going to do, obviously this is going to be a very easy poll, I mean or no, yay or may, but we got a lot of, lot of, lot of stuff coming up, we got um, we’re going to do a whole episode or series on RFK, yeah, we’re going to, we’re also, we will, we are going to redo the pyramids because we did it, pyramids was actually our first ever recorded episode that we deleted, yeah instantly deleted it, just it wasn’t professional enough, it wasn’t enough, you know we were just learning, so we’re going to redo pyramids.

We’re also going to do 911, 911 yeah, now 911 we got to get into the right mindset, frame of mind, it’s going to be, it’s going to be a five part series, we’ll need some runway, could easily be like a 15 parter, I mean God, I mean I just, I mean I got it, but after like, after after the five part JFK it’s like, I know so much we got through that, oh yeah for sure, that was cool, that was cool, just the last one we were like, we’re done, yeah yeah, no I know, I know we on the last ep, I think you feel that though like when you get through a series or something, like OJ you done, oh super done, I’m so done, you know what I mean, like play the end you’re like so done with OJ, I’m like I hate him [ __ ] off, kill me now, yeah.

We got some cool stuff for you guys planned for 2024, we got a big year planned ahead, we’ve, we’ve got plans for like a whole [ __ ] merch campaign, we’ve got, oh we, we’re, we’re, we’re actually going to start really giving you all the video, I know we’ve recorded 50 episodes of video, we, we’ve given you like, we give you 40 clips, double angles too, so we’re have a whole plan for video, we’re, we’re trying to get a video editor um to to kind of make that happen for you guys, we really want to, if anybody wants to help out hit us up, yeah we really want to increase the content for our paid people, we want to really give them more like kind of more interaction, more bang for your buck, yeah thank you.

This is going to be the last one of the year right, no, no, one more, well uh it’s going to be fun. Also don’t forget please share the podcast, we want, we want obviously new listeners, uh new people coming on board, the conversation is so much better when there’s more people talking, of course, and it’s, it’s also like you know get other people to believe what you believe, that’s what I’ve been doing 30, 30 some odd years of my life just trying to get people on board, exactly, and if they don’t believe me then just keep telling them the same thing over and over again, that’s what I do. So that’s all we got tonight, the Loch Ness Monster is real and we’re going to end off with that, I know Eric’s like, you [ __ ] Loch Ness, 100% real, pretty rad, I love you Nessie, I want to get a stuffed animal Nessie, you know what I’ll get you one for Christmas, I will, I’m writing the, I’ll buy, I’ll buy you for Christmas, all right guys we’ll see you next Tuesday, see you night.